I do not get it.

I am so sick of it.


Stop asking me this question.


What are you going to do this new year?


The answer is NOTHING.


I won't party,
I won't be with friends celebrating the coming year,
I won't drink and get drunk,
Lastly, I am not planning to GET LAID AND LOSE MY VIRGINITY.



So what? Am I boring that I don't celebrate the new year? That's total bullshit! I mean, so what if people should celebrate and party because this year ended, I don't think I am obliged to do that. And just because these people party doesn't mean they have a life and I don't! It's so ridiculous for one to even think that partying means life. Like having a social contact means life! Ok people, let's get our head out of the shallow waters shall we? Party does not equals life! Please, this is a subjective matter. It differs for everyone.


Defination of life to me does not include partying, drinking, smoking or having sex like nobody business. That is not life to me. Life to me is simple and a fantisical world i frequently visit. So there. This is my explanation and stop giving me that she-doesn't-have-a-life snide look.

Back off,

Shilla

I watched Twilight.

OK.....So I should start off saying sorry.




I AM SORRY.




To those who wanted to watch twilight with me and have been messaging me. I am so sorry. I couldn't reply and I couldn't reply because my prepaid is low and my pay has magically vanish. Like I have said before, I am pretty sure Harry Potter is part of this theft. I have been ignoring him for quite a while and I don't blame him.



Anyway, before the theft of Harry Potter with my pay, I pre-booked twilight movie almost 4 time over. I did this because I didn't go to Gold Class. Back to topic.....Twilight was amazing and great. It's definitely not as gr8 and awesome as the book but pretty good. I give it 3 stars out 5.



Here's why it gained only 3:

#1: The very first starting of the movie was already.......lame and funny. When Edward smelt Bella for the first time in the book, it was suppose to be intense and frightening but in the movie....well, Robert perception of it was all wrong because I think he did not read any of the Twilight book. He acted like he wanted to puke........which, by all means, was ridiculous. Vampire do not puke.


#2: There were many scenes that could have atleast squeezed inside. And some of the scene we could just ignore.


#3: The "falling in Love" theme was just toooooooooooooooooooooooooo fast. If you didn't concentrate, you might miss it. It's really toooooo fast. And nobody falls in love that fast. Not even for Vamps.




So, all in all, I still prefer the book than the movie but I guess that is bound to happen. I can't wait for Harry Potter now! And I cannot wait for the Twlight DVD to be available soon so I can buy it and watch it everyday!



And now, since Twilight is being made a movie, people are jumping in the twilight wagon and claiming themselves to be Twilight fans without reading the book and I hate that. They're in the wagon for the movie which pale in contrast with the book! How could they? Well, I refuse to see them as Twilight fans until they read the book and not fall for the superficial. C'mon, Edward Cullen is NOT Robert Pattinson!

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla

My fantasy WILL happen TOMORROW!

Hey peeps!



YAY!




I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO BE BONKERS TOMORROW BECAUSE.....TWILIGHT SNEAK PEAK IS TOMORROW AND I HAVE ALREADY BOOKED IT. I WAS THE FIRST FEW. HAHAHAHA! I CANNOT WAIT AND YOU CAN SENSE MY EXCITEMENT BECAUSE I AM LITERALLY SHOUTING AND SCREAMING USING CAPS.




LET ME COOL DOWN. MY HEARTBEAT IS REALLY PUMPING. WHY AM I STILL USING CAPS......





Ok....I have tried to make my heartbeat slower. So now, I can blog without shouting although I can hardly contain my excitement! YAY! It's going to be tomorrow y'all! Then finally I can rest in peace. And I am going to watch it TWICE tomorrow because I can't watch it in GoldClass. Wanna know why? My pay....simply vanish. It went to the air and magically disappear. I have a feeling that Harry Potter is behind all this because lately I have been neglecting him but I don't care. Right now....all I can think about is Twilight..Tomorrow...Twilight...Tomorrow....Twilight....Tomorrow!




I think I would gush like a baby! Finally after waiting all these while and now the time have arrived. I am going to watch THREE time actually. I will watch it twice on the same day (Tomorrow!) and the on the SEVENTENTH I will be watching it again. This time ALONE. YAY!



For all those who wants to watch it with me on the eightenth, please let me know through phone or email.


HERE'S MY CONTACT NUMBER:
90147182


HERE'S MY EMAIL:
roshillacullen@hotmail.com



Please do it before monday because I am going to book early. And to those who wants to go, I might need you to transfer your money to my account so I can book. So email me fast and Do it A.S.A.P.

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla

Thursday night With Twilight

As you can see from the title, it's inspired by the book "Tuesday Afternoon with Morrie." I saw the book and I heard it changed people's perception on life and the so often it's-a-very-good-book-you-should-read-once-in-your-life saying. So this is also the reason why it has inspired me to write the title above. Twilight changed my life and it's a very good book that if you have not read it, you must be insane or just plain stubborn.


So talking about twilight bring us to the Twilight HATERS. They, apparently, exist everytime there's something good in this world. God created them so all of us would be sane. But, nevertheless, they still bug me and make me go insane like nobody's business.
So here's the deal, one day or afternoon on my lunch break, I was sitting there feeling so shitty as it is because Stupid Bitch(SB) already gave me a morning lecture on how OUR wrapping is below the standards and she kept looking at me as if it was my fault when all the while I have been inside the office doing the receptionist shit. Then as if that is not enough, I went to the counter to do wrapping and a really old lady who reminded me of my grandmother came up to me to ask for a book and since she was alone, I said I would help her find it and take her to the information counter. I couldn't just point and direct her using my hands with this lady because I have a weakness for old people who look like they're lost and need my help. So I was being courteous. I told one of my Co-worker that I will be gone for awhile. So I did that and when I came back, SB was there waiting for me to come back and DEMANDED where I was. I told her everything and do you know what she said after I explained? She said that I SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT AND I SHOULD HAVE JUST DIRECTED HER WITH MY HANDS. WOW!!! Now I know the reason why Singaporean are NEITHER gracious NOR courteous because instead of being rewarded, WE GET A FREAKING LECTURE FOR IT. Fuck SB. Then when I was about to go lunch, I headed to the locker and fucking SB was already inside the locker room to pounce again. This time she repeated the scene at the counter and she asked me if I THREW THE BUBBLE WRAPPING IN THE DUSTBIN.
So this is how the stupid conversation goes.

SB: Shilla I heard you threw the bubble wrap in the dustbin.

ME: Uh no. It was there when I reached the counter.

SB: Because I receive feedback that it was in the dustbin.

ME: Yeah. I know. But I was not the one who threw it.

SB: So why didn't you ask anyone why was the bubble wrap in the dustbin.

Me: Well, I thought it was used.

SB: Next tine you should ask who threw it.

Me: But I don't know if it's trash or not. I didn't know that we cannot throw bubble wrap.

SB: It's bubble wrap leh.

ME: Yeah. Well, no management told me anything about BUBBBLE WRAPS.

SB looks at me as if I was stupid and I feel like punching her face because I was already so angry.

SB: Ok lor(sarcastically) Next time Please(another sarcastic tone used here) ask.

ME: Ask why there's trash in the trash bin? (I am acting dumb just to piss her off. Here, I am already using my 'american accent' just to piss her off more...it worked because she glared at me and I wanted to joy out of it.)

SB: No. Why the bubble wrap is in the trash.

Me: Fine.

I walked out. This was before lunch. My appetite and my hunger vanished and I gave my food away.

So that happened before lunch, so I was sitting there feeling all sad and angry then this one girl came and sat down with her friend and started to diss Twilight and those girls who SQUEL AND GIGGLE for twilight. She insulted them and she's been spreading stuff to customers saying that twilight is shit. Well...fuck her! Seriously. Fuck her to death. Stupid girl. What is wrong with people who cannot stand happiness. Ok, so maybe those girls who squel and giggle can be irritating and annoying but at least they're not squeling and giggling over porn or stupid shit in the world. And it's so stupid to tell about something you don't know. I asked her if she read the book and that stupid girl said NO! WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK? You don't know the story and you go about dissing it? Haven't you heard the saying don't judge a book by it's cover, it does imply literally, asshole. So, that was a bad day and it was really ruined that I really felt like running home and cry. I didn't know who to talk to and I didn't know who would understand. So when I reached home, I cried by myself and it's silly because I am crying for Twilight. And a bad day.

Anyways, I have more. So today was my last few days as a gift wrapper because I would be inside doing more recep stuff. Today was the best day of my life because the people I worked with outside were cool people that everytime a customer came with any twilight merchadise, they gave it to me because they knew how much I love it and I wrap it very neatly and well. I was really happy today, smiling most of the time. Then I went for dinner, had KFC, then came back to the wrapping counter. While I was wrapping one of the stuff from a customer, my head was dizzy and I felt like I was spinning. I, suddenly, wanted to puke and I couldn't feel my head. One of my co worker, her name is Ci Jie, asked me to run for the washroom but everyime I wanted to, the feeling of puking vanish and I was fine. I felt real bad until THIS AMAZING CUSTOMER CAME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT TWILIGHT. It was so much fun! She said she was still reading Twilight and asked me if she could skip the books. At first I told it was fine because Bella (She's a character from Twilight; the main character to be exact.) always explain stuff that would make your furrowed brows become smooth. Then she asked me which one is the best to me. I told her in this order;

Numero Uno:

TWILIGHT

Numero dos:

BREAKING DAWN

Numero tress:

ECLIPSE

Numero....uh...Four?:

NEW MOON

So we just kept on talking about twilight and it really made my day or night. I was so glad I met her and it was nice chatting with her. It was really great. She was in doubt on whether she should buy all the books at one go and I told her she should because there was a promotion for customers and she will crave for more after she read finish one of the series. And to even brighten up my day.....she bought everything. She told me I could be a good promoter for twilight. I told her if that ever happened I would be honored and be really happy even with shitty people like SB.

Another thing that I remembered today was this Filipino dude. Once again this goes out to Christine....why are all you filipinoes....so good lookin'?

He bought a Twilight collector book as a present ( Hint to friends for christmas present) and I was so intrigued by his face that I thought to myself that I have to talk to him. So I attempted at flirting. I know...ugh. But I don't know why, I just had to. But instead of it sounding flirty...it just sounded.....customer service-ly. Pathetic. Nevertheless, he replied and we talk a very little then I ran out of things to say so I kept my mouth shut. But then....he tried to keep talking. I swear he was flirting but I was toooooo scared that I could be wrong so I replied back in a customer service-ly manner. Pathetic and sad. Just sad. Pathetic. I can repeat this a thousand million time but I don't want to be down tonight.

So that was all. And now...I have updated on my life...I expect all my friends who have blogs (CHRISTINE) to update their blog no matter how busy they are.

BY THE WAY...DO YOU KNOW THE WORD AREN'T IS OFTEN USED WRONGLY. FOR EXAMPLE:

AREN'T YOU HOT, FILIPINO DUDE?

THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE IF YOU TRANSLATE WITHOUT THE (') THINGY, IT WILL BE LIKE THIS.

ARE NOT YOU HOT, FILIPINO DUDE?

THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE:

YOU AREN'T ON TIME.

BECAUSE THIS IS HOW IT WOULD MEAN:

YOU ARE NOT ON TIME.

I just had to say this...so people won't do it again. IN an ESSAY.

Hearts4Ever,

Shilla

OFF day again! The Day of REST!

So....How are my lovelies doing? I hope everyone is fine because I am totally brimming with happiness. You should know why I am so happy!


TWILIGHT.


Yeah. That's right! I know what you are thinking and I know that it's lame but I cannot, in any other way, help myself. Anything and everything that has to do with Twilight made me super happy. It's how life is for me right now. Ha!



So, yesterday, I folded 41 POSTERS OF TWILIGHT. I folded every single piece with a smile on my face that my store manager was surprise! I mean he didn't understand why I was smiling rolling posters. Well, it's because the posters were twilight posters. I was going bonkers. I want one of it but since I bought the movie companion too early, I can't. So, I complained and whine (quietly) but one of the department managers heard me anyways and asked me what book I bought, hence I told her about the book from the previous Blog (which is posted below). She listened and went away, only coming back with a BAG! The bag is awesome because it has "the twilight saga" posted on it! I mean how crazy is that? So, tomorrow I will bring the bag to work from now on!


And although I want the posters, I don't think I should buy it. You have to buy a book or any twilight merchadise, I can't splurge. I have to save for Christine B'day outing and I dun wanna be out of cash. Now that I am away from the posters, I can actually think straight. I feel like I am Edward when he first met Bella. All he wanted to do was kill her and nothing else. Just like me, everytime I am surrounded by Twilight mayhem, all I want to do is purchase them. Nothing else matters.



So I miss my girls. All of them. I miss them so much and I cannot help but cry sometimes. I feel so lonely and I hate the fact that I cannot meet them without cash. Damn this world. I really wish all of the girls and I will go out one day. That's of course after my pay.



Oh yeah, there's a sneak for Twilight on the 12th. I am not sure yet but that's what they told me. So I am going if there is a sneak. Hopefully, the timing would be ok and there's a midnight show if I am working the afternoon shift. So anyone wanna come?


I miss you girls. Isabella, Christine, Liyana, Hafizah and Razia.

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla

I finally have my sanity in place.

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I bought the Twilight The complete Illustrated movie Companion. I feel like my anxiousness have calm down a little bit but not so much- I get so hyped up when someone tell me something about Twilight. Even if it's someone over the phone who, by chance, just wanted to know if there is stock of Twilight book in the store. I get so excited just answering it. Today, there was 3 people who asked me about Twilight over the phone. I was overly answering them. Seriously, I was. Here's a few examples.


#Example UNO

Me: Kinokuniya. Good Morning. Shilla Speaking. Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. I want to ask you if you have stock on the Twilight series.
Me: Yes, Mam! We do. We have it in hard covers and it comes with a package
that'sthe series in one box. It's quite value for money and I think if you want to buy
Twilight, you should buy the whole series because it's really a good story.
Customer: Er....yeah. Thanks. Bye. (hung up)


#Example DOS

Me: Kinokuniya. Good Afternoon. Shilla speaking. Can I help you?
Customer: Yes. I was wondering if you have Twilight?
Me: Yes. (My manager said not to answer too much. But I so badly want to.)
Customer: How much is it?
Me: Well, Mam, for the Twilight series there are two versions. The original cover cost
about $17.07 and the movie version cover is cheaper-it's only 13.95. The movie
covers comes in 2 sizes and 2 version.
Customer: Hmm. That's interesting. Which would you buy.


At this point of time my heart was accelerating!!! Finally, a customer who wanted to know what I, Roshilla Cullen, thought!!!! So I kinda told her that I would buy both because I am the Twilight fan. She laughed and asked me if the book is good. I told her ( I think I screamed) that it was! After I did (explain to her how good the books were), she told me she would buy the whole set and said I was convincing!!! I was so happy that I told everyone! I made BUSINESS for them!


So all in all. I am happy today. Mostly because of the book that is posted here. And, of course, the amazing customers who asked me about Twilight. It made my day!

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla

Finally...A time to update!

Yay! I can update now....because I am having an OFF day tomorrow...So I can sleep late tonight and use the time to update on my life.





Life is good. Work is fun. I am a receptionist. I sit down almost everyday. I am not that tired.





One thing I found out about working with others in KINOKUNIYA is that I hate perfectionist. I really cannot be with them. Or around them. They irritate the life out of me and I can die just being so.....irritated. Fussy. Seriously, I cannot make one mistake. They give me these kind of 'are-you-stupid?' look. I mean if one is a perfectionist, at least tell me how to do that something and not accuse me of not listening. People make mistake and it's too bad when a perfectionist cannot accept that.





So Twilight will be out soooooooon. I cannot wait. Seriously I can't I am going to love every minute that I spent just watching it and go crazy. I think Illysa ears will bleed...Muahahahahaha! I cheated too. I read reviews. Well, I only read one and the reviewer said that Edward and Bella character was believable because of the actors!!! I knew my darling Robert Pattinson could do it....He's hot as it is..... I LOVE YOY, ROBERT!!! You're the best!


Ok so that's all....Pretty boring, huh? Well, that's life for ya!

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla

Twilight premieres today. I cannot help but feel a little down.

What's up?


Sorry. But I am not in the mood. I am here to whine.


So if you don't like it. Please, there's the X red butten on the upper right hand on your laptop. By all means, press it.


So, Twilight is premiering in this very second....I cannot imagine that. I didn't go to YouTube at all except reply to some of my comments. Well, one of my comments. Other than that, I absolutly avoided YouTube and other great website like MSN or Yahoo! or Google. I just go to my mail, answer some email (Mostly from Amirah) then closing the computer or reading some Fanfiction. This is only the first day and I already feel like I am dying. I have to keep this up for the next 3 weeks before I can go back to the normal life. Thank god, really, that I am working NOW. This is the first time I feel so helpless. Even Harry Potter has a WORLDWIDE premiere. I don't get it why TWILIGHT doesn't. I seriously don't.


Anyway, Job in KINO is fun. Tiring but fun. Better than working at Jenap's place. Although the pay is less. I am happy there. Friends there are great although they are young as always. No surprise. I was asked to trained as a receptionist. I tell you, it's alot of work. But it's fun picking up calls and transferring them to the different department. Ha! Then in the office somebody brought up TWILIGHT and I couldn't help myself and started claiming I am the biggest TWILIGHT fan here and would use my first pay to buy TWILIGHT stuff.


I would. Seriously. But firstly I have to put money for Twilight movie outing aside. Which I think will be about $200. Don't frown. I seldom get the opprtunity to splurg and after TWILIGHT, I don't know what else I am going to do. Probably nothing. So the rest of the money is safe. I just need to buy other Twilight stuff and one of the Harry Potter collector series. Don't frown again.



So, I still haven't heard from anyone about the outing and I am guessing that none of you wanna come with me soooo I made plans with my sister. (Don't worry Amirah, I planned for ours.)
We're seriously going to watch it in GOLD CLASS and if you guys wanna join, please please contact me.


Christine, BTW, can we postpone the BIRTHDAY thingy again? I will get my pay by end of this month but it comes as cheque so it will take around three days and I have to be sure I have enough cash, So it would be a great party...I was thinking could we postpone it after the 9th of december? Pretty please. Then you won't be disappointed. Tagged me ok? Let me know. Prepain is down...so email or tagged me. I will check and reply.



So as I was saying, I declared in the KINO office that I was the TWILIGHT fan. So the person in charge of the children books department stood up and looked at me (her name is AGNES). She asked me question that surprised me and made her impressed because I answered swiftly. I mean come on! It was TWILIGHT questions. So here was how it went:



Agnes: So you're a Twilight fan?
Me: Yeah. (Look Proud and Smug)
Agnes: So do we sell the twilight series in packages?
Me: Yes. Definitely.
Agnes: Do we sell the hard cover?
Me: Yes. Individually and in packages.
Agnes: And how much does the packages cost?
Me: $144.85
Everyone in the office (Including Agnes and myself because I was surprise I could remember): WHOA!


So....this just show that I am THE TWILIGHT Fan to beat. Seriously. Ok enough of being smug.

Hearts 4Ever,

Shilla.

Another Poster...another day made!

This is another poster of Twilight that I found in Dobhy Gaut (is that the way you spell it?), I was so happy because it was so huge and it was on ALL the four pillars....I was about to go crazy! People seriously thought I was going insane. I was standing in front of the four pillars for at least 10 mins each. I'm CRAZY.

So that really made my day.

Extremely. Totally bliss out.

Anyway, another thing, I got the job from KINOKUNIYA. Yes, I am selected and I hope I will be happy working there. I know I will be dead beat but with all the books that surrounds me, I think that would somehow balance it out. At least I will be close to all the TWILIGHT books....love love that idea! Especially...very near Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen photo.

So I will start tomorrow and I hope I do the job well. Not willing to screw up...so my future of cash flows....is secure. And I WILL BE ABLE TO WATCH TWILIGHT IN GOLD CLASS AND BE CONTENT WITH IT. Haiz, it is suppose to be just a few days later...and Twilight would be release in the States and Philippines. Thank god I am working. I will avoid all the mayhem in YouTube and ignore it all. So I would not be jealous.

Got a message from Ms. Queck...Told me about a Lit lecture tomorrow. People who are not working should go. I wish I could.

Anyway, Got to go. I will try to get more posters that are up and running and post it up and see my excitement grow!

God Bless,

Roshilla.

BTW...I have not heard from ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO WATCH THE MOVIE WITH ME!!!! Hello? Anyone coming?

Just when I thought I gave up...

So that's the new trailer from Harry Potter! I cannot wait. I thought my love for it died down cause I have been caught in TWILIGHT mayhem....But it certainly was just hiding. I was jumping up and down with this trailer. I am so glad now! I can't wait for the movie...THOUGH, admittedly, not that excited because it's centuries away.

Ok...so I am exaggerating.

It's just a few months away. 8 months and 2 days away exactly.

Anyway, hoping to see all my friends soon. Miss them like crazy!

THE POSTERS ARE UP AND RUNNING!!!!!

So as all of you can see, The Twilight saga is FINALLY getting some life in Singapore! Although I am, honestly, not that happy because they still have not, under any circumstances, change the bloody damn date, I am contented that the posters are already up around our little island. I was dying out of impatience. This, by the way if you're curious, was taken at Kovan MRT station. I actually was sooooo shock to see it there. I wonder if I asked for the poster when the entertainment value have run off, they would give it to me? I bet not. I had exprience. Yup, that's right. I asked for the Harry Potter poster from MJ, they just scoffed me off as if I was retarded.

So, I have also checked some of our movie websites (Cathay and Golden Village) they have this particular movie in the 'Coming Soon' section!!! I seriously went ballistic. My sister was frightened. I can't wait for this movie to come out!!!! I am literally going to die once it comes out. Though I will be working on that day with Robinson. That's right, people, I got the job. But I don't know if I want to accept it...I am still waiting for Kinokuniya to accept me. I rather work for them. Seriously. Imagine me around all those BOOKS and their collection of Harry Potter and Twilight. I would be sooooooo happy. I really wish they call me soon. I only have until wednesday. At Ten. In the morning. Please let me have that job. The interview was fine. I don't know if she photocopied any of my certificate or not cause I was busy trying not to shake so much when she (The INTERVIEWEE) had me on a gift wrapped test. And she was so close. I was under so much pressure. But, all that considered, I did well wrapping the books. Well, at least it did not fall off or rip open.

Gosh! If I accept the job from this Robinson, I know I will be tired like hell. Work 6 days a week and only have 1 day rest. It's not even a weekend. And it only start on the 18th of dec! The premiere of Twilight. So I have to keep the current job I have now. A receptionist and Admin Asst that is not really needed. I hate my co-worker. Seriously. A complete whiner. Keeps on bitching about the boss. But I really can't blame her, the boss is not nice either. But I rather the boss than my co-worker. She thinks she's all great and exprienced. Ha! That sounds wrong but what the heck, who cares?

I have been doing a newsletter for this company and as much as I disagreed with Christine yesterday complaining about my current job being lame and boring and, surprisingly (because I sit all day), tiring, I enjoyed making the newsletter and am proud with the result. It looked nice....and it's all my HARDWORK for 2 hours. Not bad for a first-timer. Plus this would look good on my resume to NUS(Journalism), now I have a small taste of what it feels like to do an article. Absolutely amazing!

So....I end here. I am so glad that I saw this poster!!! TWILIGHT is really showing in Singapore! I can't wait. I promise myself that I will never buy the pirated disc that I know I will be tempted to buy once I know it is available.

Another downside though, I checked the gold class tickets...Damn. They raised it. After 9 years. Why couldn't it just be 10 years, where Twilight would already be a DVD? Whatever. I am still watching it there....just for the comfort and sastifaction of waiting and not being able to go on it's ACTUAL premier release which is on the 21st of November...which is 7 days away! All you who will get this luxury, just so you know, I HATE YOU.

So enjoy the poster and call me if you want to catch it with me....and you can't make it on the relase date in Singapore. I think I am going to watch it about 3,000,000 times. No excuses.

Email me if you want to have a TWILIGHT outing. I still haven't got any replies from any youtubber in Singapore. Damn.

This is the mail if you wanna go catch with me and have a TWILIGHT outing:

roshillacullen@hotmail.com

I know. Don't ask. I am obsessed. With Edward Cullen. And Robert Pattinson. I can't make up my mind. At least with Harry Potter, I know who I like and it's definitely Harry Potter and NOT Daniel Radcliffe. But with TWILIGHT....Robert is too damn fine to be ignore.

This is the first Tv spot for Twilight for the states!!!!

The second Tv Spot for Twilight!!!

This is the third Tv spot for Twilight!!!!

I know, I am obsessed. I am goingto watch this movie like there is like no tomorrow....So I probably will be watching more than 3 times on the same day!!! Can't wait!

Anyone wanna join?

Definitely watching in GOLD ClASS....hahaha...waste my money...

But...must pay your own if you wanna join me....hahaha

I am about to die.

Living life to the fullest.

That's the most ridiculous thing ever.

Death, I feel thee presence.

Why does thee stay at one place?

Take me away.

Take me away.

Take me away.

For my soul never made a difference.

This blog today will be about something I have been noticing. Friends, do you remember I told you that I had a crush in school. (all my friends should know who I am talking about.)

So I was not the only one who have notice this but Christine too....

He's been looking at me.

I think he figured out that I LIKE HIM.

Or somebody must have told him.

Damn....Hahaha....I think he thinks that I still am crushing over him. Which I am not. A little.

Ok, yes, to me, HE IS STILL CUTE.

But the hair have got to go....

So weird. He keep looking at me as if saying....

"HA! This girl like me....What does she thinks now?"

Here's what I think:

YOURE A GOOD LOOKING JACK ASS THAT DESERVE A SLAP FOR YOU TO WAKE UP AND SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM.

HA!

So irritating.

Just needed to let it out.

Ok.

Bye.

Love Shilla.

So it has been a long time since I wrote a new blog here. I am really sorry about the lack of updates but I hope that none are that unhappy.

So, tomorrow I will know my fate on whether I make it to year 3. I kinda already know what it is and I am not trying to be pessimistic but I am facing the facts. The conclusion is that I won't be making it to the next year and MY FRIENDS WILL BE MISS DEARLY........especially my 3 best friends of all my life. Know that you 3 have change my life to a better one and I LOVE ALL OF YOU WITH ALL THE CORE OF MY BODY AND SOUL.

I hope when I say this, it doesn't sound like goodbye....BUT I do love all the three of you.

To ISABELLA,
You're a great friend. No, that's understatement. You're incredible and such an amazing soul. There would be no one out there as good and as great as you. You're irreplacable. The days we share with laughter and happiness and the one time I made you mad and your incredible ears that never get tired listen to my chatter and your patience...I thank you for being my friend. MY very FIRST friend in MI. The very friend that I care soooo much about.....You're the best.

Your strength to achieve what you want never fail to amaze me and when you look at me with that look so that I became ashamed and start to study. Once again, you're the best.

To CHRISTINE,
Well, what can I say? There's no word to describe you either but I will try my best.....Let's start with your pretty-ness, shall we? You are so beautiful, Christine (inside and out) and you are very nice to me. No....You're very kind to me. I like the part that we can always talk about guys and I like the fact that you don't judge me just like Isabella.
There's more, of course...but I just can't find words to say it. I can see that you care about me and you, too, never ever asked me to shut up....you listen to my chatter with patience and I never felt the need to shut up....

To Liyana,
Liyana, you're are my small angel. I am sooooo happy your heart accepted me and I love that you always search for me for help and I am glad when you are just beside me. Just you there, it's such a comfort that I have never found. You complete the rest of us and I will be so sad not talking to you and meeting you in school when I am gone. But I will always be here for you.

I love you guys so much and I wish things were different for me so that I can stay......I will cling on to hope to the very end.....But if I don't make it.......You KNOW that I love you.

Hafizah and Razia,
I have not forgotten you two. You are my younger sisters and I love the both of you....with all that I can. I will miss you sooooo badly. You guys always make me so happy in class and I love that sometimes we talk about anything under the sun and act bimbo....hahahah....

Nisa,
Your friendship is one of the thing that I will cherished till the day that I vanish from this place of the planet....You're so funny with you reactions and you retorts...it's just so cute. I will never forget you my friend.

I hope no tears is shed when reading this like I am now. I cannot imagine the future without you all....I really can't. If there's one thing I will regret when I don't make it...it's not that I didn't make it to year three and my dream have somehow vanish, but at the possibility that all of wil never meet again. Me, lonely...somewhere. Missing you all.

My heart has broken before and now it feels like it's tearing apart just with the knowledge that we won't see each othe everyday......I don't know how I will face it when reality will take over this knowledge.

Seriously, guys...this is worst than breaking up with my boyfriend.

So much more worst.

On better note,
I recommend that ALL OF YOU should read The Host by Stephenie Meyer. It's not a series, so don't worry. It's really a good book and really nice. It's sci-fi romance...but mostly sci fi....and even though you're a sci-fi hater.....you will love this book, no matter what!

I need to read more...I am actually craving for books and I am dying to read something new and nice.

So who is going to watch twilight with me? I need to know!!!!! Just a few more months..........

OK good day ya'all,
Roshilla.

THE TRAILER!!!!

TWILIGHT LAST TRAILER

Mandy said hi to me...WITH GREAT NEWS!!!!

Ok majar bitching session is on NOW! Curse that stupid stupid warner brothers for delaying HPHBP to july next year. LIAR! Thanks NISA for bringing me the news!!!!!!!!! I hate this. I cannot breath! I need to be a bitch! This is bad! I cannot believe it. I have been waiting all YEAR ROUND FOR THIS FUCKING MOVIE! Ok you know it's bad...when I STTART TO SWEAR!!!! I wanna cry seriously!!!! When I first found out...my heart DROPPED.



How can this be happening. STUPID WRITERS STRIKE! It is because of that!!! I cannot believe it.......it's 11 more months!!!! If you do not believe me you can check out the site itself. Trust me YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED (did I spell that correctly?) I hate this, it's making my PMS even worst. I cannot control my feelings of disappointment. I mean if I didn't have a PMS today....I think I would have been more rational.....OKAY MAYBE NOT!!!! Definitely not. I would probably be the same.


Well.....there's twilight this year. And if that is going to be postpone....I am seriously going to...going to...going to....I don't know what I will do. I really don't know. I think I would seriously breakdown.

I am at Raz house and she's playing the piano now....it's quite soothing. Makes me a little happy. I am smiling....



This is disappointing. I am sad. Please.....Please make this a nightmare....

It's not real...
It's not real...
It's not real...


It's totally happening. I AM DOOMED! SCREW YOU STUPID WARNER BROTHERS!

Chapter 15
Daniel was getting fed up. Nothing that he was doing was getting Megan closer to him. He did everything he could to get her away from that stupid boyfriend of hers. But, instead of getting her closer, she seemed distant lately. He only gets to see her during rehearsal and nowhere else. One day, when all of them were finished with rehearsing before going to the real set for real filming of the movie, Daniel quickly caught up with Megan before she could escape.
“Hey Megan, can we talk for a while.” Daniel asked. Megan sighed and nodded.
“Sure.”
“In private? Is that ok?” Daniel said, his eyes pleading. Megan felt sorry for him and followed him outside the room to the canteen. When they finally reach there, Megan sat opposite of Daniel and looked at him expectantly.
“Are you avoiding me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Daniel asked as he felt his blood boil with anger. How could his fear be coming true? His heart pumped with fear as Megan tried to say something.
“Daniel, I don’t think this conversation will get us anywhere. Please, Daniel.”
“Megan, I want to know why.”
“You’re scaring me, Dan. I feel like I am being haunted by you.” Daniel tensed up when Megan said those words. His brain started to work again and he knew that Megan was scared with his action but he could not help it. She was the closest he could get to her. Megan smiled sympathetically. Daniel was repulsed with himself. How could he let Megan fear him. He should not be selfish. Megan explained to him in a tone that Megan hoped to be comforting. After explaining, Megan squeezed Daniel hand’s and walk away. Daniel stared at his hand. He thought he was over Carla garner but facing reality, he was far from over.
Daniel drove all the way home with his head questioning himself. He was really confused on why he was reacting this way towards Megan. He heard a small voice in his brain saying that she was Carla. Daniel stopped in front of the porch of his house and stayed in the car, contemplating. What can he do to make sure that he has move on? Should he really seek professional help? Daniel knew the answer to that. it came like lightning. The answer was definitely yes. It was time he see someone professional to help him through this crisis.
As Daniel sat in the large sofa that could have fit 3 people, his palm was wet from all his perspiration. He did not know why he was so nervous. One thing for sure, his dad was delighted when Daniel finally wanted to get help. His father was the first to recommend his friend, Ms. Cullen, to Daniel saying that she was the best psychological practitioner in town. Daniel did not delay and called her straight away. The sooner he solve his brain problems, the better he would be. He would not allow himself to be mentally derange. Finally , the door to the big room creaked open and in came, Ms. Cullen. Daniel mouth fell open. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his entire life.
“Good morning. I hope I did not keep you waiting.” She chimed. Her voice was full of bells that seem to soothe him like a song. Daniel did not respond not because he could not find his voice but because his voice was nowhere to be found. So, he just nodded.
“So what can I do for you today, Mr. Radcliffe? From you father, he said that you have a hard time adjusting after the death of your girlfriend.” Ms. Cullen said as she sat on a chair that was opposite daniel’s and crossed her legs, with a clipboard on her lap. Daniel could feel his heart pumping and his brain suddenly squashed. Ms. Cullen was outrageously beautiful and he could not understand why he was feeling all hyped. He could no longer hide the feelings that were making his blood rushed through his veins as if there was a cut. Suddenly, he faintly remembered why he was there in the room. He came here to heal. To let Carla be just a memory in him and not control him. He did not knew for one second that he was already healed. It was like Carla was working her magic on him again. It was like she wanted to make him crazy thinking of her so he could finally see what he has been waiting to help him heal. In this case it was who.
Ms. Cullen was still patiently waiting for Daniel to say something and Daniel could not help but muse at the thought that he must be acting very weird right now. Daniel sat up straighter-or as straight he could- and took a deep breath before he began. For the first time, it felt like he was a new born. The scent coming from Ms. Cullen was amazingly beautiful.
“Well, I think that is about right. A moment ago.” Daniel replied to her. Ms. Cullen face was puzzled. Daniel smiled at her knowing that he probably made no sense at all.
“Ok...well, why don’t you tell me what is it that is bothering you so much. You can tell me anything. It will be just between us.” Ms. Cullen said as she, once again, stared at Daniel waiting for a response.
“I miss her. For awhile, I think her memory has been haunting me. I could not let go..” Daniel said as he went on about Carla like he never had to anyone. Amazingly he felt the weight on his shoulders being lifted. It was not the same as talking to his dad about Carla. This time, Daniel was not as angry and he knew why. Ms. Cullen was the one listening this time. This actually made it a lot easier for Daniel and although he knew that Ms. Cullen was listening because she had to, from her facial expression, Daniel could not help but feel that she wants to hear it. As if she really wants to help him heal.
After one hour talking and listening to advice, it was time to leave. Daniel made it a point to have another appointment with Mandy. That was Ms. Cullen first name. Daniel was glad that Mandy was nice enough to see him again although it was 2 weeks later.
“So I will see you on the 23rd of September then, Daniel.” Mandy said as she held the door to her office.
“Sure thing, doc. It’s really nice in here. Quite comfy.” Daniel said as he put on his parka in the office; looking around seemingly to appreciate the decor of the room. When in fact the real appreciation he would have given would be to Mandy. Daniel looked at her for the last time before leaving and hearing the click sound the door made when Mandy shut it behind him.

A year passed and Daniel has gotten life the way it was. He still thinks of Carla but he found it ok to talk about her when he was interviewed. He missed and he was moving on, for her. Daniel was back at the set for behind the scene 2. He was waiting to see who will be playing Carla’s character, Rose. He wouldn’t be surprised if the producer could not find anyone. Carla was one good actress that was hard to be replaced. Daniel saw Sophia coming in from the left entrance door and when she saw him, she came towards him and gave him a hug.
“Who do you think will be Rose this year?” she asked as she, too, waited to see the new actress. Finally the door opened and Daniel could not believe his eyes. Carla came in through the door with the nervous look. Daniel looked at Sophia’s reaction and it wasn’t any different from what he felt; shocked.
Mr. Dean, the producer, came in with a look of understanding on his face. He knew why Daniel and Sophia reaction were one of shock. This girl looked exactly like Carla. Although if one to look at her closely there is a slight difference. When Mr. Dean was right in front of the two shocked actors, he started to introduce the new girl in the bunch.
“Daniel and Sophia, I would very much like you to meet Megan.” He said. Megan smiled and placed her hand out for Sophia to shake. Sophia very slowly shook the hand and smiled. She realized that on a closer look, Megan looked a little different although the difference wasn’t much.
“It’s nice to meet you, Sophia. I am a big fan of One Three Hill. It’s awesome!” Megan said excitedly. She quickly turned to Daniel and beamed at him. To her, Harry Potter was her life and there he was, Daniel Radcliffe, living and breathing in front of him. He placed out his hand and she shook it with a big enthusiasm. When Daniel touch her hand, he was expecting fireworks but none came. He could not believe Megan looked like Carla but was nothing like her at the same time. His head was pounding and he could not stop looking at her. he tried to remind himself that this was not Carla. This was a different person but Daniel could not help think that, maybe, Carla was finally back in his life.
After the first rehearsal, Daniel asked Megan if she wanted to eat lunch with him just like the first time he asked Carla a year ago.
“Sorry, but I don’t think I can. You see, my boyfriend is waiting for me outside. But, maybe, you can join us. He’s a big Harry Potter fan too!” Megan said, beaming. Daniel felt his heart drop to the floor. Megan had a boyfriend. Daniel tried to say something in reply but he could not find his voice. Megan waited and stared at Daniel, still Daniel could not find his voice. His disappointment was too great to handle.
“Daniel, are you ok?” Megan asked when she realized that Daniel was getting paler by the minute.
“yeah, I am fine. I’ll see you later then. Have a nice day with your boyfriend.” Daniel said, his voice sounded rougher than he intended too. Megan was shocked but Daniel walked away before his brain went fuzzy. What was wrong with him? He did not have the answer. He was so confuse. Megan reminded him so much of Carla that he was believing that Carla came back alive.
It’s the heavens at work. Carla is back as Megan. I am going to do everything I can to be with her. no matter what it takes, Daniel thought to himself. The first thing he has to do was get rid of the stupid boyfriend. Somehow, he knew the only way was to convince Megan that he was the one for her.
Megan was happy that she gets to act alongside Daniel Radcliffe, the famous Harry Potter actor. But he was making her uncomfortable as the day went pass. The first week of rehearsal, Megan was getting nervous as Daniel was trying to get close to her, to the point that she really feel that she needed to get away from him. Megan told him, clearly, three times that week that she had a boyfriend hoping that he would back away however Daniel seemed to cling to her even more. Megan did not know what else to do to get him off her back. Megan’s boyfriend, Nick Francis, noticed that Megan was worried and asked her what was wrong when they were in his car one day.
“Nothing.” She said in exasperation as she put her hand on the temple and stared out from the car window.
“Come on, Megs. You used to be the one chatting in this car until we reach your home.”
“I don’t know. I think Daniel likes me.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? I mean you have to work with him for about 8 months.” Nick said as Carla turned to face him.
“Nick, he likes me as in he might want me to go on a date. He’s been hinting at it.” Megan said as she looked at him. Nick stopped the car, deciding that this was something that is bugging Megan to the point that as a boyfriend he should give her his undivided attention. When he finally found a place to stop the car, he turned to face her; she looked more worried than ever.
“I really don’t know what to do, Nick. I mean he just won’t bug off. I create up a whole bunch of nonsense but he’s everywhere. I made it a point that I have a boyfriend and I deliberately kiss you just so he catch that I am serious about having a boyfriend.” She said.
“Oh, is that the reason why you have been extra nice to me these past three weeks?” Nick joked. Megan blushed and punched nick on his arms for teasing her. Nick laughed and leaned in to kiss Megan, who accepted it by returning his kiss. When they broke apart, Nick place one hand on Megan’s face; his thumb gently stroking her cheeks.
“Megs, you know the real reason why he’s hunting down like a vulture, right?” he asked, looking in her eyes. Megan looked at him thoughtfully and realised that she knew the real reason why Daniel liked her. She was almost like a clone of the late Carla Garner, who was Daniel last girlfriend. Megan sighed.
“I guess. But I am not her, nick. I am yours.” Megan said with such sincerity that Nick could not help himself and kissed her again. This time with all his soul.
“I love you, Megs.” Nick said when they broke apart. Nick put the key in the ignition as start the car. Megan beamed as she heard the first L word that came out from Nick’s mouth.
“You do?”
“Why, don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Good, cause if you don’t, I see that Emma Watson is quite hot up close.”
“Nick!”
“Just joking.” With that, nick and Megan continued teasing each other until they reached Megan’s home. Nick smiled as he finally gotten back the real Megan back in his car.

Hey Peeps....In my last blog I mention something about me writting a A kind of Harry Potter fan fiction...Well I did. Here's the link:

www.roseandscorpious.blogspot.com

Mind you, you have to understand that this is about Rose Weasley and Scorpious Malfoy. And not about Harry.

Chapter 13
It’s been four months and Daniel Radcliffe was no longer the man that he uses to be. Carla died a month after the findings of her cancer. She refused treatment and she just wanted to enjoy life. Carla spent the whole month with her family, friends and of course Daniel. Daniel was the last one to hold her hands as the eyes that he had love slowly became blank and the loosening of her hands in his indicating she had left. Left him forever.
After just days of Carla’s funeral, the paparazzi and press were merciless and asked him about Carla. He couldn’t believe such beasts exist on the face of the planet. He could not get out of his house until his dad came in and talked to him for awhile. Now Daniel went out as usual and although the press and paparazzi were still asking question, people were soon forgetting about Carla. But she haunted him day in and day out. He just could not forget her and almost cried himself to sleep every night. The memories of her were left in photographs that he keeps under his pillow so it was easy for him to keep her alive in his heart.
“Promise me you’ll move on, Daniel.”
Those were the last words that she had left him and wanting to fulfil his promise, he did try to move on. Tried to be happy. Tried to go on dates. Tried to go out to party. But that was the problem, he tried. All of which brought nothing but guilt and longing in his heart even more. He wants to be with her. There was nothing more that he wanted. She was his life and now that she was gone, he felt that he was dead. Daniel got up from his bed and walked over his study table to take out a pen knife that he used to cut papers and what not. He placed the pen knife on his wrist and was about to slit it open before his dad came in and quickly snatch the pen knife away. Daniel was breathing hard and looked at his father.
“Daniel, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” His father bellowed. His father face was burning and there were angry tears that fell from his father eyes. Daniel felt guilty not because he wanted to kill himself but because he had made his father cried. But he can’t live anymore. He didn’t want to. Carla was waiting for him and he could feel her calling him.
“Daniel, please. Let us talk.” Daniel’s father gestured to the bed and Daniel followed suit. Both of the men stared at the floor at loss of words. Daniel was thinking of Carla and what she would do if she had been here. Would she smile? Would she laugh? Would she hold him tight? The questions were pushing him to breaking point. He just could not figure out how he could not think of anything else but Carla. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Speak, son. Just tell me how you feel. It will help. If it doesn’t, I swear, I will give you this knife and you could kill yourself. But you have to tell me every bit of truth about your feelings. Just let it out.” Daniel could not believe his ears, was he given the permission to die and be with Carla if he let out what’s been going on in his head? The longing to be with Carla increase and he just let it out to his father.
“I want to be with her. I can’t live like this. She is in my mind all the time and she’s haunting me, dad. I see her shadows hiding everywhere.” Daniel said as tears started to fall and he could feel the weight of sadness started to life the more he talked out loud to his dad. He kept on talking and he felt great talking about Carla to someone who listened. The more Daniel poured out the more he realized that he felt better and he felt like what he did was wrong. Killing himself was not what Carla wanted him to do. He knew this before but telling someone about this just helped him to understand better.
“She wanted me to be happy. Wanted me to move on. She wanted me to be happy. With or without her.” Daniel finished as his tears just slide down his face like a waterfall.
“You just said it. She wanted you to move on, Dan. Not kill yourself.”
“But I miss her so much. I am longing for her. I don’t want to be alone.” Daniel said as he realized that he was going crazy because he was alone.
“Daniel, you’re not alone in this. Imagine her mother at home. She lost a daughter, Dan. But she’s strong because of Carla. She’s being strong for Carla, Daniel. Maybe you’re being selfish. Maybe you don’t love as much as you think you do cause if you do, you would be strong Daniel. For Carla.” Daniel looked at his father and could not believe the words that were coming out if his mouth. How could he say such a thing? Daniel loved Carla more than he did himself. Daniel was so angry that if his father was a stranger, Daniel would have punch his face. When his father got up to leave, he walked to the study table and placed the pen knife.
“You can kill yourself, now.” His father said and was about to walk out of the door. Daniel got up and took the pen knife and placed it on his wrist once again.
“YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? HOW CAN YOU SAY ALL THOSE THINGS? I LOVE CARLA MORE THAN ANYTHING! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF SO I CAN BE WITH HER!” Daniel bellowed. His father turned calmly and faced Daniel.
“Do you realize how selfish you sound? Son, you’re doing this for yourself. If you love Carla, you would have think of her. How she wanted you to be happy for her.” With those words, Daniel’s father left and shut the door. Comprehension dawn on Daniel like never before. He dropped the pen knife on the floor and sat on his chair. His hands covering his face as his father words played in his mind. He realized that he was, indeed, being selfish. Daniel look at his reflection on the wall, he hated the selfish person he saw. Carla would not have wanted this for him. He should try, this time with all his heart, to fulfil the promise he made for Carla again. Daniel nodded to his reflection to assure that this was the right thing to do. To move on.


Sorry it took so long people, but now I know where I am heading you bet you will see more. BTW, I started something today and that is A Harry Potter Fanfic... I might create a website just for it soon...I'l let you know.

It’s the end of school. The end of hard work. The end of stress. Not. This is like summer break and I guess it is somehow true. It’s summer all year round in Singapore. Jealous? Don’t be. It’s not exactly fun. Like how summer should be. I did not attend school today as my illness really got the better of me; I have been trying to self heal and not seek doctor’s treatment, I really could not hold back the pain and decided it was time to go to the doctor for some medicine and of course MC. The bloody damn school needs it. I have been reading a lot of blogs lately and I have different response to it. Some blogs are really cool to read because they are really descriptive and interesting. It makes you see a picture instead. I hate blogs that are so difficult to read. Blogs that does not make sense. Why write something that does not make sense at all? Bloggers should know that blogs are meant for the general public to read. If you make it so difficult to understand, people would be piss. Maybe not. But I definitely am. I am not Sherlock Holmes, you know. I hate trying to read ‘between the lines’. It makes me feel like I am sitting for a test. So, I have found a new crave. It’s called the “House”. It’s a series that just aired in Singapore tonight and I fell in love with it immediately. Isabella has been talking about how she feel she is losing the “zest of life” lately and she’s really stress about it. I guess I have to agree with her. The education system is so systematic. I feel like we’re walking zombies trying to live. But we’re just dead. I need to get away from Singapore. It’s killing. That should be in the news headlines. A new murderer is roaming around; Singapore. I hope that’s the right punctuation. As everybody knows, I have video vlogs on YouTube. Ok, I guess not everyone knows about it. But, just so you know, I have an account and I do make videos. Lately, there have been really little viewers. I am not affected by it but I guess I am affected with what I make. They’re so fake. I realise that I act in my videos. I am trying so hard to be funny. When I don’t have to try because I am funny. I am not boasting. It’s a fact. So next time, I will try to be more real. And not fake it. Or bitch about someone in particular. I cannot believe what ‘she’ has done in the past. She even wrote it in her blog. It was disgusting. So now I bet you think I am hypocritical because I am not making sense. So here’s the deal. Let’s name ‘she’ Dahlia. Dahlia is pretty much a boaster. She gags and gags day long. She’s all about religion but the stupid thing is she does what she criticise and that is smooching a guy and talking about it on her blog. The shitty thing is she is not the only one I know who are hypocrites. There this dude who don’t like girls with short skirts and all. He claims that it’s ridiculous and against our religion. Let’s name this dude Andrew. Well, apparently, he has a gf and he does all the stuff that our religion forbids and post ‘kissy-kissy’ pictures on MySpace. So much for that. Just so you know Andrew, you’re a jackass and you really are on my nerve. Please do not make me hate you because I am on the verge of doing just that. Don’t be so pretentious and act like you’re so religions because if you were,you would know this particula fact that our religion states; holding a girl is just as bad as eating and touching pork. So just stop all your shit. Please. This blog is a bit random but I just have to let it out here. I need people to know. I just like that idea. People knowing me without knowing me. I want to watch Prince Caspian. I have not returned the book (Chronicles of Narnia) and I owe the library more than $5. Oh well. Thanks for reading. Do leave a comment. Haha. That’s what most youtubber say at the end of their videos. Sadly, I am part of the crowd.

Oh by the way, I hit a dead end for my story. If you have any ideas, do contact me at shillluvrsharry@hotmail.com. And please don’t send me some miracle shit. Carla is dead.

I am writing this on Microsoft word so I can just cut and paste. The internet connection is so corrupted with viruses and I am cannot get online. I hate this. So much hatred in me. I should learn how to appreciate. Trying. Oh no. My hands are getting numb.

Chapter 12
The story that Carla was hospitalised was all over the news. Carla could not help but feel a little discomfort at what she’s becoming in the public eyes. It was as if she was someone who was important to everyone when in real truth she was just a normal person with a big craving for Mr. Softee right then. If only the nurse was not really looking into her diet so carefully. Carla was awaken by her friends. Her real friends; friends who would never leave her no matter who she was. They smiled at her and talked about school and their normal life. Vanessa; Kathy’s closest friend compared to the others, was going to audition for some musical movie by Disney. Carla was so happy for her and was sure that she would get the role because she can sing so well and dance way better than Carla could.
“I am so nervous, Carl.” Vanessa said when the others went home; Vanessa was always the last one to leave so she can clear her doubts and have comfort words thrown at her by her closest friend.
“Why? You’re the best, V. There’s nothing to worry about. Just try your best and who knows, you might do what I did; get the co-star to be your boyfriend.” Carla said as she laugh. Then, suddenly, Daniel came in the room with a frown on his face. He looked at Vanessa and nodded his head towards her to acknowledge her presence. Daniel sat down beside Carla and kept quiet.
“Ok, I have got to go. See you tomorrow, Carla.” Vanessa said as she felt uncomfortable in the tension that Daniel was creating. Carla looked at her and waved goodbye until she was out of sight. Once Vanessa was gone, Carla reached out for Daniel’s hand and held it. Suddenly, Daniel looked at Carla with a look of pain as if the words that he was going to say were going to cause him all the energy he had in his body. Carla was getting tense and confused.
“Daniel, what is the matter?” Carla asked as he squeezed Daniel’s hand.
“Carla, they found something in you.”
“What do you mean?” Carla asked as confusion was overflowing in her brain. She could not register anything and suddenly, Daniel’s eyes ware filled with tears.
“Carla, they found that you have...” Daniel could not finish his words and looked away. He was really angry with himself because he was making Carla panic and scared. It was shown through her pretty face. She squeezed Daniel hand but this time she held the tension because she wanted to know. Daniel looked at the pretty face again.
“Carla, you have cancer.”
When Carla heard the words that came out of daniel’s mouth, she felt like laughing. Not because she was crazy but she was sure that Daniel was just fooling around. However, Carla realized that Daniel was looking away and she understood from that moment on that no one would joke about this. Carla was laughing still. Daniel looked at Carla because he was worried about her laughing away. Didn’t she understand that it was not a joke? Daniel grab Carla’s shoulder not unkindly and shook her to reality. Carla stopped laughing. She stared into the face she loved so much and tears were welling up so fast that it dropped in an instant. Daniel hugged Carla.
“Daniel, I am going to die.”
**********************************************************************
Haikal was sitting at his office looking at the documents in front of him. He was feeling tired after all the patient he had seen for that day. He believed in miracle and he knows that if medicine and science, there’s always god to turn to; he tells that to all of his patients. He was an oncologist. He loved his job because this job creates relationship for him easily and have more than just one family. Although sometimes it killed him to see his some of his patients pass away, he always tell himself that this was part of life and it will always have an ending. Haikal was looking at his watch, it was way past his working hours but he still felt the need to go through the files in front of him because he was a doctor who could be there for someone who is in real need. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” Haikal said. He was a little confuse as he was not expecting anyone to be visiting him especially after his working hours. When the person came in, he was shocked to see Daniel.
“Daniel, please take a seat,” he said as Daniel sat down, “what can I do for you?”
Daniel did not answer him and instead kept silent. Haikal was feeling a little uncomfortable since he was the cause of a couple fighting. He did not know what has gotten into him. Carla looked very young and she may even be less than eighteen but she was so attractive to him and he could not let the opportunity of getting to know her pass. He went with his gut feeling although this time, his gut feeling landed him into trouble.
“I just want to know if there is a chance of her recovering?” Daniel asked. Haikal felt himself in a daze. He had not the slightest clue what Daniel was talking about. He knew that Carla had acute hyperventilation but she should be alright by then. Haikal looked at Daniel with confusion written all over his face.
“Daniel, your girlfriend should be alright. Stop wor....” Haikal stopped mid sentence as he flipped through the new case and realized that Carla was never going to be alright. He could not believe what he seeing. Carla had cancer and it was at the last stage even with chemotherapy, it would not make any difference. Haikal was getting restless and Daniel notice his reaction.
“What is the matter? Haikal, what is wrong with Carla?” Daniel asked as he was getting worried with the look on Haikal’s face.
“Daniel, Carla is on the last stage of cancer. She has 3 more months. That’s with chemo. I am really sorry.”
Daniel felt his heart dropped to the ground. It must have dropped because he could not hear it beating. He was dead. He was sure of it. Daniel felt tears welling up his eyes and he could no longer held them back. Carla had cancer. Carla had three months. Carla is leaving. Daniel broke down. He could not care less about Haikal’s presence there. Daniel could not understand what was happening and he was blabbering nonsense.
“Couldn’t you do anything, Haikal? Carla can’t die. She can’t. She’s only seventeen. There must have been a mistake. Please check. Please Haikal. Please tell me you’re lying.”
“Daniel, there’s really nothing you can do. Nothing I can do. It’s up to god now.”
Daniel wanted to open the door and walk away because he felt that haikal was talking nonsense. God? If there was a god, Carla would not have cancer. Or three months to live. When Daniel turned around, he could not believe that he was looking at the pretty face he love so much. The pretty face was wet with tears and shock. Carla just found out she had no more time.









sorry it took so long for me to update it. I was looking for inspriration people. I am very sad today. Saw and old lady selling tissue and no one was buying. My heart dropped to my stomach. I was feeling sick and sad for her. Stop by to buy her tissue and she smiled. She looked like my grandmother and I felt so bad. Why was she on the streets? She should be resting and enjoying life. Watching Hikmah just like my grandma. But there she was selling tissue. I took out $2 and paid her and didn't ask for change. I wanted to give more. But I do not have enough. I walked away with Raz and Azizah. I could not help myself and tell the gals how I felt about this. Then tears brim my eyes and I cried. I could not control the tears. She was so alone. And her smile. Omg, her smile. I cannot forget it. It was a sincere thank you when I gave her that $2. I am crying now. Omg, what is happening? Where's her children? I wish I could do more. I feel so sad now. PLEASE IF YOU SEE HER IN THE NEAR FUTURE SELLING TISSUE. PLEASE BUY IT FROM HER. Please. I am begging.

Have you felt like someone made a mistake and you understand but you just can't forgive? You don't know how to say it. You want some time. Because you don't understand how you come to terms with it and why when you felt so hurt by it. I don't want to stay mad at you. But I am hurt by it. I understand. But I don't get why I am reacting so coldly. Maybe I am still mad. Sorry, I am just worried. I have to go to the doc to ask for that stupid letter. Hope I get it. It's a ticket to get out of being debarred. I am just confuse.

OMG....Check this out. This Japanese clip. Super duper hilarious. Helps us appreaciate and understand why laughing at people is WRONG!

So...it's been awhile since I last updated this blog. So for those who said my blog is gone because I have been Vlogging...well no. It's still here and it will, forever, be deeper than my vlogs because I tend to tell REAL stuff in here. I just let it all out. So how have I been? Not soo good. I realize I am getting sicker and might just die soon. So anyone wanna wish me anything, now would be the time. To all my friends out there... I have already uploaded the YOUTUBE videos we made... So if you guys wanna here's the link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i15sXfK1t3M


So...I haven't been in school again and I hope I don't get debarred because I do have MC this time and if I do get DEBARRED, I am soooo bringing this to the MINISTRY. I hate it. Anyways, I am feeling bad emotionally and that's not something new. Just got back my Lit test paper back and I am doing bad. Haiz. I really need help and I am not getting any. Really am going bonkers.

I wish everyday was the day when we make good choices and it turn out well. I really might just die.

Hey there everyone! Are you guys surprise? Yeah, that's right. I am back with typing my daily doses of craziness in this blog. Well, life has been a real roller coster right. I hate it that I feel happy with it sometimes because then I cannot say that life sucks when it turns bad sometimes. I have a new video vlog where I tell you about the daily doses of craziness in LIVE version. This is to mean that I actually do talk to you through a camera and you can see me. Hahahah, am I insulting your intellengence? I am sorry, I didn't mean to. ( I am actually doing a video now. But if you have any ideas to my show, Don't hesistate and tell me.)

So anyways, I bought a web camera to actually do a vlog and never to webcam anyone. Well, I was so mistaken because in the end I did use it to webcam someone. The first thing is I was so curious as how a webcam would benefit anyone and the second part is that I was wondering if the person was as real as his picture said. You know the saying; pictures says a thousands words, a video says a infinity words. Oh, you haven't heard of the second one? Well, that's probably my made up crap but you do get what I mean, right? So I asked this dude, whom I think I gotta know from myspace, if he waqnted to webcam and he answered with a yes. So we webcam. I kinda regret it later. No because he was a freak or a perv or anything bad. Nope, it was exactly the opposite. He was really good looking that I almost fell off my chair. So, as the girl that I am, I just could not hide the fact that I was nervous and was tongue tied. He said hi and I realised that he had an accent, so I asked him where he was from. He was from IRELAND, girls. I was like whoa! That's awesome! Then guess what happened next? Total silence. I am serious. I could not believe it either because I am such a talkative person and silence was never ever a guest when I talk to people. So he asked me was I nervous and being the honest person that I am *coughcough* I told him yeah. He said I don't have to be. So then I tried to relax; only it didn't happen, and we talk a little bit. He was 20 years old (my age!!!) and he was in college. Just like MOI! It was interesting but I would definitely recommend face to face. Basically because it would be better to see although it is not as safe as webcaming because if you feel like the person you're looking at is a loser you can just walk away by clicking the close button and not create stories that your grandmother died or as your friend to call you to pretend your mom asking you to come back home!!! Unbelievable as it was, we chatted for about 2 hours. He was very interesting. He played the guitar for me and I sang!!! Hahahah! It was like a concert but with camera and no audience. Then he had to go for class, and at one point I thought what class was held at 10 pm? I kinda let this thought out of my mouth (idiot!) and he laughed saying that it was only 4pm there. I think I blushed or something because I felt myself burning up and thank god the resolution of the camera was bad so he didn't notice it. We said our goodbyes and then I thought that was it. BUT he asked me if we could webcam again.....hahahahhahahahahaha...I will leave you guys with you imagination on what I replied.

So, I have been listening to paramore and I might do a cover and post it on youtube. Please do not comment that I don't sound anything like Hayley because I know I can't. Just leave your thoughts that doesn't involve comparing. So that's about it.

If you guys are wondering, I might not do this typing thing too often and I might go back to recording my thoughts because it is so much easier and I can do it offline. Ok got to go, finish my video and don't forget to view it people. Here's the link:

www.youtube.com/user/shilllurvsharry

Guys check it out!!!!!! Its myblog for the day!!!!! PRESS PLAY Y'ALL!!!

Yo peeps, chech what i found in youtube...damn hilarious.....watch it to lift the stress of school!!!