I just can't help it.

There.

Take a look at it.

Doesn't your heart beat faster and your mouth curl into a smile?

Mine did.

I feel such bittersweet emotion.

Bitter because....the need to be with him is left unfullfilled.

Sweet because....he just makes me smile.

I really am in love with him.

Writting this down just make me smile like an idiotic fool and makes me blush. Onew/ Jinki is just really the most attractive man in the world. Look at how he just hug that man to protect his dongseng....

And when he was being dragged, I almost peed my pants....He's so cute.

You know, the more I try to stop myself from being a fangirl. The more of a fangirl I become.

But I just can't help it.

And I won't help it.

Just let me dream...and drool for now.

Until, at least, when Mr. Right* find me......

*Onew of course! Or anything close to him......

bo.bo.bo......

Dear blog,

I would like to apologise to you as I have not been updating my blog and have been having a life.

Well, not really a life that is socially equipped but a LIFE nontheless.

Alright, you got me...My "LIFE" right now only involve of korean stuff.

I am actually quite piss off.

I need them.

SHINee.

I really do!

I have been searching up and down....on YouTube and all the videos.....I am getting nothing new!!! I need something new and I am dying for it...literally going out of my sanity.

Anyways, I am here to talk about my friends.

It amazes me how my friends....have other friends that I don't know. It shouldn't amaze me but I am amaze....Cause for me, They are all I've got and they know each other....

That's it. That was all I want to talk about my friends...Haha....actually, I have nothing to talk about today.

Except for my undying love for Onew/Lee Jinki. I really do want to marry him and I guess I am becoming like a freaky fan girl.

Right now, I am in cloud infinity just with the fantasy of being with him.

Can you imagine what would happen to me if Onew does end up with me?
I would probably faint. Or die. Out of Happiness.

But the most probable scenario would be me falling off that cloud infinity and crashing down to reality.

I can see it coming soon....

Just thinking about it is so demoralizing and.....it hurts.

The thing is, I remember chatting with Christine the reason why I find that being in love with Onew made me cling on hope so bad is because well, Onew's asian and he's quite near and the fantasy of being with him would be more realistic...but, now...well....now, I can see the distance. I can see so many things that are probably going to make me regret ever liking Onew this much because it's never going to happen.

And I realize that when I like someone, I tend to destroy the whole thing by being truthful or honest.


But, even after seeing this and knowing the truth, I still cling on to hope. So dearly.

Somebody should just shoot me.

I am so obsessed!

I am so obsessed with SHINee that I :

1) listen to their songs only everywhere I go.
2) hunt down the meaning of their lyrics and memorize them.
3) go to YouTube purely just to watch videos that have them in it.
4) forget that there are no other mam out there for me except them.
5) ignore all impossibilities of me meeting th as a someone on their level.
6) hang on to hope like it's a life saver.
7) could look for a bf right now but I won't and I don't want to.
8) could have a bf right now but I don't because I am too caught up with delusions that I would end up with Lee Jinki/ Onew.
9) I have to type out SHINee instead of shinee cause that's the way the band name is spelt.
10) sign up for korean lesson because I want to know that I would be able to communicate with them even though the chances of me meeting them is ZERO.

The list is quite long but I will hive it ten by ten... When I have the time I will update another ten!!!