What's up people.....so far chapter ten is receiving goooooooooooooood feedback! Well that's good lah...considering that I tooooook sooooooo Looooooooooonnnnnngggg to write it...thanks to Christine ...she put a little spice in my thinking! Thanks babe.....Do not worry, your name will be in the book. PROMISE. I guess you guys are waiting for chapter 11...I worte it halfway...you guys are in for a BIG surprise! I like what I wrote so far...it's kinda bring a little flava to the story line.
So anyway, I have a HUGE story to tell today. Yesterday, we prank our BIRTHDAY BOY, NAZIRUL!!!!!! hahahaha...it was the first prank the was sooo successful!!! I should have really record it. Naz reaction was the cherry on top of the ice cream! PERFECTO! So here's how the story goes....Firstly, we wanted to so-called meet him...so we told him if he could hang out and so he said yes...I think so far....anyway back to the story....so at first i met raz and haf....we bought a DOME CHOCOLATE CAKE, it was the best cake we seen so far...it should have been my BIRTHDAY CAKE!!! But, sadly, it was NAZ.....hahahah then the three of us decided to call naz...Haf, being the great actress, called him.
So at first, she pretended to act panic when naz pick up the phone....then he told her to calm down...so she pretended to calm down and told him to come down Raz house...because "something" happened....and so he said he will come soon.....we waited for like 3 hours lah...hahahha ok lah that would be lying but i think we waited for quite sometimes....before he came we planned calmly how to surprise him but when he finally came, hahahah we went chaotic like hell! It was really a huge mess lah...but he knocked first...good etiquette NAZ..so haf was about to open the door when I grabbed her hand to just shout "come in"....and when he came in he told us he was terrified because the room was chilly..the aircon was on to add to the 'depressing' atmosphere....when we finally shouted HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I think NAZ knees gave way and he just drop to the floor...at first we thought he was pissed....but nah...he was just really surprised! I LOVE IT! should try next year again.....this time i wonder who's going to get it....hahahahaha(evil laughter)
TO NAZ>>>>>>DO NOT FORGET YOU O US!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA

Carla spent the whole day alone and in peace. She relaxed her muscles by lying down on her hotel bed. She had looked at her result slip again and again making sure that she was not being deceived. Carla smiled at the thought of being able to take her GCE A examination and complete it and go to college. Carla kept on smiling until her door bell rang. Carla got up off her bed to open the door.
“Hey, Carla, I have good news for you.” Jenny said as she went it. Carla looked at her sitting down on the bed.
“What?” Carla asked.
“Well, I have got projects lining up for you. You can pick one for the summer holidays then you can go back to acting Behind The Scene 2. You can read the script and choose, ok?”
Carla picked up the scripts on her bed which was laid by Jenny. There were five scripts altogether. She seems to be in demand right after the movie she made. Jenny went rushing out of the room without even telling Carla. Carla picked up one the scripts and started reading it. The first script was not interesting. The second one was a disaster; it was so clichéd. The third was the jackpot. Carla loved the story line. It was an action movie, this could be the movie to prove how versatile she was as an actress. Carla pushed the other scripts on the floor and examined the script she chose. It was an interesting script and Carla thought it was amazing that she was chosen for the lead character. Carla read and read and she kept on reading until someone came knocking on the door. This brought Carla back to reality. She went to the door to open it, it was Daniel. With flowers.
“Daniel!” Carla exclaimed as she threw herself on him. She never realised how much she missed him until he was right in front of her.
“Congratulations. I heard from Jenny, you did well. Can I see it?” Daniel asked when they both pulled away. Carla nodded and pulled Daniel in the room. She searched for her certificate and found it under her pillow. She was about to hand it to Daniel but Daniel was looking at the script on the floor.
“Daniel? Here it is - my results.” Carla handed the little piece of paper to Daniel. He took it and read it. His facial expression was impassive. Carla could not make out if he was impressed or disappointed.
“Wow, this is really good. I am really proud of you.” Daniel said and without any warning, Daniel kissed her. Carla felt herself, once again, flying. Shooting through the air although she was standing still on the solid ground. Finally, the both of them pulled away. Daniel sat down on the bed while Carla sat on his lap, sideways. Daniel picked up the script that was on her bed. He looked at it for a while. Carla was at a loss; she didn’t know how to tell him that it was a script she had chosen or not because at that point Daniel looked kind of shocked. Carla tapped his shoulder to get his attention again. This time he seemed to be angry.
“Who offered you this?” Daniel asked, the softness of his voice was gone.
“I don’t know. Jenny brought it to me. There are others but I think this is the best script so far. It’s a action movie.” Carla said excitedly. Suddenly, Daniel eased her off his lap. Carla was stunned by the movement.
“Daniel, are you ok?”
“What do you think?” Daniel said as he paced around the room with the script in his hands. He was reading it with a tinge of violence; if by the flipping of the pages is any indication. Carla felt scared, she had never seen this side of Daniel before.
“There’s a romance scene in this movie.”
“So?”
“What do you mean by ‘so’? There’s a romance scene in this movie. I don’t want you to take it. Take some other script.” Daniel demanded. Carla was taken aback, where did this Daniel came from? He was being so very idiotic right then. Who was he to stop her from taking the script that she wanted. Carla stood up from the bed and folded her arms.
“I am sorry that you don’t like it. But that’s not my problem, it’s yours. Why are you being so selfish? This is the time that I can finally shine with a different role and all you can think about that there is romance scene. I bet you’ve already been-
“No! I have not. Nobody came to offer me anything. You stole my career away. Everyone is talking about you, you and you!” Daniel interrupted, shouting at Carla for the very first time. Carla felt her heartbeat stop. Then she could feel tears shooting down from her eyes right down her cheeks. She could not believe her ears, did Daniel just say she was the cause of his popularity degrading? Carla wanted to leave Daniel at that point of time and almost was walking out of the door when she realized that it was her room. Instead of walking out, Carla held on to the opened door.
“Get out, Dan. I can’t do this. Just go.” Daniel left without even looking back.

Carla was sitting down in the club. Music blasting all around and people dancing like having sex vertically. However it did not made Carla want to dance at all. She had a bad day today and so far it was not getting any better. Daniel did not apologize and she was waiting for it to no avail. Carla still could not believe that Daniel was such an idiot. The atmosphere in the club was doing nothing to Carla’s mood except that she noticed there was a cute guy looking at her, checking her out, since she entered the club. He was tall, toned and handsome. Not to mention a cute butt. But she was putting on her guard for Daniel although the tall, toned and handsome dude was really getting her attention. Suddenly he made his move to come to her. Carla breath was caught in her through. Carla kept her eyes on the new shoes that she just bought, her heart thumping like mad.
“Hey, can I buy you a drink?” said tall, toned and handsome guy.
“Oh, I already have one. What’s your name?” Carla asked as she slid sideways to make space for him to sit down.
“My name is Haikal. You’re the actress, right? I saw your movie, it’s really awesome. I bet it’s nominated for an award soon.” Carla could not help but blush at his comments. If he looked hot far away, he was looking hotter not. Carla did not want to flirt back but she really couldn’t help it.
“So, you’re not intimidated?”
“No, cause if I was, I can’t ask you to dance.” Haikal took her hand and led her to the dance floor. They dance like there was no tomorrow. Finally, Daniel was out of her mind and Carla felt great for the moment. She felt free. Haikal was a great dancer too. He was a gentleman and did not invade her privacy. When both of them were out of breath, they finally took a breather outside the club.
“That was fun.” Haikal said as he let go of Carla’s hand.
“Yup it was. I really had fun.”
“Me too.” Haikal leaned in closer, Carla could feel his breath on her face. She did not want to kiss him because Daniel’s face keeps popping up but she really wanted to feel his lips against her; what he tastes like. His lips touched hers and there was just that. Carla did not felt anything. No fireworks. Nothing at all. Carla pulled away, she stood there shocked and terrified.
“What’s wrong?” Haikal asked when he saw her face expression. Carla’s brain was racing as if it was in a marathon. Everything was wrong. Daniel was just standing behind Haikal.

Ok....so I guess I should apologise for not updating for so long. Keeping you guys from chapter 10.....SO SO SO sorry. I still have yet to come out with a plot...don't worry, I am not giving up. The story will come out for your viewing pleasure. Anyways, I have read this really great book...hahahaha don't act surprise, y'all. I do read other books and not only Harry Potter.....This book is called CHLOE DOE, it's a novel by Suzanne Phillips. It's a really good book. You get to see the lives on the streets. How it is really like. Why they do it and how lonely one can get on the streets. It's quite touching as you venture into the life of Chloe. She's such a strong character that would make an impact in your life. She's strong and she never shed a tear...well at least on the part that I have so far read.....She's quite amazing.

Well, anyway, Chapter 10 will be up soon...JUST HANG IN THERE PEEPS.

TO CHRISTINE> I HAVE UPDATED, NOW YOURS.

Mood: Exremely sad......

It's funny people keep coming to me for advice when I am in a wreck myself. I amazed myself when I hear myself givng these advice to other people, I feel like everytime I do that, I have an outer body exprience. It's like I am seeing this girl who is mature and wise talking and it's not me. I hear the advice I give and yet I, myself, could never apply it in real life. Like for example, love the way I am....I do....But in the end I get bruised. I don't feel appreaciated. Nobody seem to even care that I cried just not. My sis was so rude to me....and amazingly I did not retort. I just told her that she spoilt my mood...and she didn't even apologized. She just went out of the room...I could not hold back the tears of dissappointment. I guess, there will be more tomorrow after I get back my papers. I feel so bumped....so hurt...so underappreaciated...so lonely...so lost.... I wished somebody would just listen and understand and let me cry on their shoulders.....but here I am....Keeping to myself.. I hate my life right now.


I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

Will somebody hear me out?
I feel like screaming and crying
But my voice is not coming out
Please help me, I cannot find it.

Why am I alone again?
Why is it so hard for me?
Why am I the one feeling this pain?
I don't deserve this.

Alone seem to be my middle name.
It feels like I am in a never-ending game.
Everybody looks at me the same.
So useless and pointless.

Sometimes I feel I hate this girl.
The one I see in the mirror.
Yet, she's begging me to love her.
I cannot put her through more hurt.

I don't deserve this.
Would somebody understand, please?

Hmm....so I am still stuck with Chapter 10...but no worries I will find something to come out with. Yeah, so carla is in deep shit soon...Maybe I should put her in real mortal danger!!!!!! Life or death situation.....Then Daniel would be in deep shit tooo.....and then....well I guess that would be a great IDEA! It's not predictable at all......well now I am telling, it might be. LOL.

So what do we talked about today?
Well, I don't know....oh maybe friendship? Yeah I think today would be a great dayto talk about that. Isabella told me somthing really wise.
YOU CANNOT QUIT ON YOUR FRIENDS
Boy, isn't that true? I was about to do just that to one of my friend and I was soooo stubborn to just give on this particular friend. Because I believe I deserve a better friend. But I guess if I were to do that, I would be doing exactly the same thing what my old friends done to me. I don't want to be that person, so I guess I just have to be a friend.

People should know that when you meet a friend, you didn't sent in a resume. So you have no right to quit on that friends. NO RIGHT AT ALL. So you can never walk away from them. I would never do that. A person who does that is someone who is unimaginable and cruel. Can you imagine of someone doing that?

I DID NOT THINK SO.

Hmm....so what's up peeps....As you guys can see....chapter 10 is not out yet. This is because I am running out of ideas u guys...I need help....so please give me ideas?
I can't believe this....but if you help me... I swear i will put your name if my book get's published (as if!)hahaha
Anyway, I am damn piss lah right now. But I don't think I should vent my anger here. Ain't a smart move. Next thing I will know some policemen knocking on my door saying I have said something inappropriate...and I go to jail. And I will be gone from this world. So much for FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
So what's going on with me..Nothing much i guess....Promos is over and now it's like i already run the race an waiting for the result. Today an outing got cancel so i just stay at home and do nothing...hahaha. What have you guys been doing???? Wait.....WHAT? you r doing nothing toooooo????? wowow!!
OK i think i better not blog in today....i am full of B.S..
sadly i already am...
shit.

So here I am. What do I talk today. Ohh...I have one real good topic. Today's topic is about LOVE....ahhhhh don't worry...it's not the cliche love that everyone wants. It's the love that is so hard to understand. Heck, i do not understand it either. It's the love for ourselves. The one that we do not give enough to ourselves. This is sad.

Its so hard for one to get love. Even harder is the fact that we do not love ourselve enough to get love. How can one love someone else when you don't love yourself? You hurt your heart for love you think you deserve. You put the suppose "love" before yourself. Isn't that being selfish to your own self. Someone who actually deserve your love is yourself. Make your life, your life. Do not make her or him your life. You deserve to be selfish sometimes to love yourself. Nobody deserve to get hurt. So I guess this is what I am trying to say. LOVE YOURSELF.

When you don't understand.

There is this boy and this girl I knew.
They fall In love In front of me.
They said they love each other, so true.
And yet they don't understand
The reason why they are not together.

Falling in love was not enough.
They still could not be with each other.
They had other obligations, other 'reason'.
The girl dug a deeper hole to fall in.
The boy climbed higher on the ladder of hope,
Knowing he will fall one day.

So how can they be in love?
They don't even love themselves.
They're being selfish.
Going into 'hurt' with open arms.
When you don't understand.
This is what happened.
When you don't start loving you.
You're going to end up as lonely.
Forever.
Unhappy.
Too.