Sunday, September 11, 2011

Thanks for Letting me smile (Let go)

I don't know how to say this
I don't know how even start
We have been together for so long
Together, we had our own bliss
But I can't ignore my heart
We have been together for so long

You look at me with a smile
Tears in your eyes 'cause you know
You held me hand for a while
Tears in my eyes 'cause I know

You're letting me smile
You told me that it was ok
You're letting me smile
You told me it was something
That only you can give

You're letting me smile
I feel pain for you
Maybe, I'm stupid to let go
But all I said was
"I am so sorry"

Beautiful and wonderful day
Will always be in my heart
I am so grateful to have met you
It seem like this is the only way
I'm sorry that I am breaking your heart
I am so grateful to have loved you

This may be the end of us
I wish I could turn back time
To a happier us
To a place where I never would hurt you

The tears fall from your eyes
It fell from mine too
I don't want to hurt you
We stand together, two statues
Both clueless of what's ahead

The moon shines bright
You're letting me smile
Letting me go
You don't want to fight
not anymore

I turn and walk away
I don't turn back
I am so sorry
I want to say thank you
But not now

Till we meet again


This is a reply to Infinite's Can U Smile. I am just so inspired by their song lately... it just moved me...so sad... I will put the translation of the song here.

I remember that feeling from
Long ago when I looked at you
I remember that time when
I knew you, you knew me
I wanted to be like you
hang out with you
I think about those desperate times
But it's merely a memory
that has passed by

And can you smile? smile...
you want this
you hope for this
I can't seem to have you with only my heart

And can you smile? smile...
I said to leave
I said I'm okay
It seems like I can give you nothing
but this to you in the end

I remember long ago
when i received your heart
you were overflowing me
and i'm thankful
i think of those time

we love each other
we were at our happiest
then came across farwell
you were overflowing me
I'm sorry
I can't hold you back

And can you smile? smile...
you want this
you hope for this
I can't seem to have you with only my heart

And can you smile? smile...
I said to leave
I said I'm okay
It seems like I can give you nothing
but this to you in the end

And still, still in the end, still I..
but probably in the end, I still..
And still, still in the end, still I..
but probably in the end, I still..

[Rap]
But I was suffocating from
those frequent words of yours
You say that my way of talking and
actions make you lose your words
make your anger rise
on this violent night
the stars light up the sky,
the moon shines
you go steadily on your path of stars
the night is coming
it is covered only by other stars
but the moon always stays there
I will always be here for you, want you

And can you smile? smile...
I want you but..
I'll hold you but..
your smile is fading beside me

And can you smile? smile...
I said to leave
I said I'm okay
You might even be happier
if you leave my side

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Be Mine (Story)

Author's note: I was inspired by the song 내꺼하자 (Be mine) so much that the image of this story below came to my mind and I wanted to share with the world.... or internet. The characters are fictional... and anything that seem to be related to the real world is PURELY coincidental.

Jiyu tried to take her breath in but it seem like she was choking. There she was standing in a place where she promised she would never had to be in again. She could hear her heart breaking and there was nothing much she can do about it.

"I can't be that guy anymore." He said; it was just a whisper but it seem so loud and Jiya felt her tears rolling down her cheek.

"Please don't do this. I love you, Joon..I..." Jiya said but her words were breaking because of the tears that she has lost control of.

"I am so sorry, Jiyu." With that, Joon walk out of the room leaving Jiyu with nothing at all. Jiyu felt pain in her chest and her hand went to her chest in an attempt to save it from breaking but as she knew, it was pointless.

Jiyu couldn't hold her cries anymore and cried out loud. Nobody would hear anyways and she was all alone once again. She scream in anger as it was HER fault that she was this position again. She have always put her heart on her sleeves and now she is just reaping the reward. She can't count how many times her heart broke because of love.

Once the tears had cleared and the screams stopped, Jiyu got up from the floor and head out of the room to reality. He heart broken. Her life a mess. And there was nothing much she could except move forward. This time she vowed to keep out of love's way.


THE NEXT DAY

Jiyu was waiting for her best friend, Hoon, outside of school. She wanted to tell him what happened the night before. She's been crying all night before sleep finally save her. She have also ignored the thousand phone calls she had been receiving when she was crying last night. She just didn't want to burden anybody else with her pain. It was her fault anyway...

The bell rang and yet, Jiyu still waited for her best friend who was running and eating breakfast at the same time. The boy never change. When he finally looked up from the food he was munching in his hands, Jiyu waved at him. At first, he smiled then he had an angry face on.

"I called you the whole night yesterday." Hoon said when he was infront of Jiyu. Jiyu felt guilty because beside his angry exterior, Jiyu knew that he was worried and he cared for her.

"I didn't mean to make you worried. I was just-" But Jiyu was cut off.

"Trying to mend things on my own. God, Ji! We have been best friends since forever."

"I just didn't want to-"

"To what? to hear me say I told you so? Why would I say that, Ji!" Hoon exclaimed, getting more frustrated. Jiyu wanted to calm him down and she looked at him in the eyes.

"I just didn't want to worry you, Hoon. I didn't want to trouble you at all." Jiyu said, her tears falling down as she could not control them. Hoon heart broke at the sight of his bestie crying again. He gave her a hug to help with keep herself 'together'. He knew she was falling apart.

"It's ok, Jiyu. Don't cry, ok? Please don't cry, I can't bear to see you cry like this. Let's just get to class, ok?" Hoon said as he wiped away Jiyu's tears and headed towards school. Jiyu felt the burden on her shoulders lifted and somehow, she felt happier. Her spirits lifted a little.

5 HOURS LATER

Hoon was sitting opposite Jiyu while she was explaining the whole situation that happened yesterday. Jiyu didn't cry anymore and it seemed like her heart was mended already. She could see Hoon's face turning more stoic especially when she told him about the part where she broke down. Hoon held her hands to comfort her and she was glad that she had the most amazing best friend in the world.

"Well, he's an ass anyways." Hoon said.

"Hoon, he's not an ass. He was actually doing the right thing if you think about it. He wasn't falling for me and the relationship was just not working." Jiyu said and sighing at the same time.

"He broke your heart and that make him as ass. I am going to kick him out of my soccer team" Hoon said, smiling viciously.

"Hoon! You can't do that. He's the best player you've got. Don't make it personal." Jiyu said panickly.

"Dang.. why not? He should face the consequences! You're not letting him go just like that, are you?" Hoon said, incredulous at his friends patience and lack of wanting to be revengeful.

"The best thing right now is for me to just move on with this life. And maybe not put my heart on the sleeves anymore." Jiyu said sadly and look down at the table. Hoon lifted her head so that he could see her eyes.

"You don't have to do anything, Jiyu. You just have to be you. I will protect you. I... I.." Hoon wanted to finish his sentence but the bell rang and Jiyu hurriedly got up.

"Shoot! I have to get to class. Mr Kim is not going to be happy if I came to class late. Again. I will see you after class?" Jiyu said as she run for her class, waving goodbye. Hoon waved back and finish his sentence when she was out of sight.

"I love you."

2 WEEKS LATER

Jiyu's heart was beating very fast when she made her way towards the aeroplane. Jiyu and Hoon are going away for their very first holiday to Singapore together. They have saved enough for a holiday together.

"Are you happy?" Hoon asked when they reached their seats and smiled at his friend who was unable to calm herself down from all the excitement.

"Are you crazy? We are going to have a blast all the one week we're there. You told me there was Universal Studios, right?" Jiyu said, narrowing her eyes at Hoon.

"Yes, there is! Chill.. I am not going to get your hopes up and then murder it. I am not mean, you know." Hoon said, feigning to be hurt. Jiyu stuck her tongue at him and close her eyes as the plane started to move. Hoon felt his heart stumbling and jumping out of joy. He have made up his mind to make sure Jiyu have the best time of her life.

IN THE HOTEL IN SINGAPORE

Jiyu and Hoon looked at the huge bed, dumbfounded. The hotel room that they have reserved was supposed to have two twin beds but instead the hotel did a mistake and they end up with a room with only one king size bed. The worst part was that there wasn't any couch for Hoon to sleep on.

"Let's just make the best of it." Jiyu said, throwing her stuff on the bed. Hoon looked around the room.

"I will just sleep on the floor. There is enough space for me." Hoon said. Jiyu frowned at her best friend.

"Don't be silly. You'll sleep in the bed with me. You'll be no fun tomorrow when your back hurts. And I want to have FUN." Jiyu said making sure to emphasize the word 'fun'. Hoon laughed and joined Jiyu on the bed, taking off his shoes and socks. Jiyu headed to the toilet to clean up and Hoon rested.

Hoon awoke with a start when he felt something cold caressing his face. His vision was blurred but he knew Jiyu hand that was touching his face. Her cold hands. This activated his worried mode.

"Are you cold? Do you want me turn up the temperature?" Hoon said coarsely as he just awoke from a deep sleep. He could hear Jiyu chuckling.

"No, it's ok. I am ok. I wish you stop worrying about me so much." Jiyu said, turning to face him. Hoon turn his position and face her.

"I can't. Your hands are so cold." Hoon said in a whisper. He doesn't know why he was whispering but it suited the atmosphere.

"It's not just that, Hoon. It's everything. You worry that I don't sleep well or when I have a cold. You worry about everything about me, my friend." Jiyu giggled. Hoon laughed as well and realized that he does that.

"I can't help it. You're very important to me." Hoon said. With a suprise, Jiyu kissed Hoon's cheek. Hoon could feel his heart beating loudly at the contact and he was caught off guard. Hoon could only looked into Jiyu's eyes.

"Thank you for worrying about me." Jiyu said and even though her heart was beating hard, she went to kiss Hoon's forehead because she wanted to let him know that he was just as important to her. But when she was about to go back to her position, Hoon's hands captured both side of her face and he moved in to kiss her.

Hoon did not know what has gotten into him but with all the kisses that she was giving, He became braver and although it was just a platonic kiss from her, he just could not hide his feeling any longer and kissed her the way he have always wanted.

He just didn't expect her to be kissing back.

When she did this, Hoon could feel his heart exploding and he knew that she must have heard it but he just couldn't care. All he thought was how wonderful it felt kissing her. How his life seem to be complete when he was kissing her.

"We should stop." Jiyu said, looking into Hoon's eyes. She didn't want to hurt the friendship and she didn't want to lose Hoon. She was just afraid. Hoon could see this in her eyes and he smiled, his hand caressing her cheek in reassuarance.

"Jiyu, you know who I am, right?" Hoon asked.

"Yes."

"You see me now, right?"

"I do."

"Then you know, I will protect you now." Hoon said. Jiyu just kept silent because she knew that he will do that but she just didn't want to lose him.

"Let's do this together. Take this path with me and you know that with me, you will never hurt again. I love you, ok? so much and it hurts me so much to see you in pain. Is hasn't been easy for you, right? I can't-" Hoon was cut off because Jiyu leaned in to kiss him again. This time she kissed him with all the pain, all the hurt and all the love she had for him.

"Be mine." Hoon said as a statement. Jiyu smiled.

"Ok." With that, she kissed him again and the night became a wonderful fairytale.

THE NEXT DAY

When Jiyu woke up, Hoon was not in the bed instead he was eating his breakfast. What happened yesterday night seem to have gone and just stayed behind with the moonlight. Jiyu cleared her throat and sat up.

"You woke up late.. and I was hungry so I ordered food." Hoon said, still stuffing his food in his mouth. Jiyu just smiled and got off the bed to head to the toilet. Suddenly, Hoon stood up and blocked Jiyu from going to the toilet.

"What are you doing?" Jiyu laughed as she tried to pass him.

"Pay the toilet fees." Hoon said. Jiyu stopped trying to pass him and looked at him questioningly. Hoon cheekily pointed to his cheek and just waited for Jiyu to 'pay the fees'. Jiyu laughed and went to kiss Hoon on the cheek however, Hoon turned his head the kiss ended up on his lips. Jiyu smiled when she realized this and lean in closer to kiss him more. Hoon hugged him and kissed her back just as passionately.

Last night wasn't a dream, after all. Hoon thought to himself and he was happy right there in her arms. So was Jiyu...


END