Almost one year and half now.

So I have been in the KPOP scene for almost 1 1/2 now.

The more I know and all the new bands that I am exposed to, I love it!

But, I am here to talk about... My love.

Onew.

I am still soooo in love with him.

I cannot believe it but he is just so adorable.

If I ever ever ever manage to get my voice out there... I Will write a SONG ABOUT HIM.

and just place the title Onew.

Just make it obvious.

SO, you know... That BOY.

I am here to talk about that man.

You have no idea what I am talking about, right? Ok. So I had this amazing idea of writting about all the dreams about that one man who always turns out to be the LOVE of my life...but I can NEVER see his face.... It's always blurred out.

Have you guys have that kind of dream before?

I better get to the dreams... I can feel it slipping through my brains.

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DREAM 1

I remember this dream was just a whirlwind. I remember holding on this guy's hand and we were running. At first, it felt like I was in someone else's body because it's like ...I finally woke up... and here I was running around, holding this stranger's hand....but, I could not careless.

At this point, we were still running around (and this man's face was still blurred out) ... We we running and running.... and then I realized....

I was horny. (Muahaha! Just being honest)

So, actually, we were running and giggling because we were finding a toilet to do the deed. How kinky and dirty that was?! But that was what we were doing... (please don't forget that this is a dream, people)

So, finally, after running around stairs and bumping into alot of people (because apparently, we were in a party) we found a toilet that was available.

It was HUGE!! (What I meant was the toilet....not the...you know...) and I just felt it was more like a closet.

Well, he started taking off his shirt and trying to get off mine....but then, I woke up.

Yeah, I know, talk about an anti-climatic ending, right?

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DREAM 2

This dream was really... like a story,,,and it was like a chinese gangsta story, y'all!

So I was the girlfriend of this guy,, who the name I totally cannot remember now...but all I know I belong to him and he controlled me. And in that dream, I was in love with that... it felt like I was being protected and cared for... since I was so desperate for any kind of attention in real life... this controlling man that my subconscious created was kind of like a salvation and I loved it.

Fine. I was his bitch. I know all of you were thinking that...

Anyways, in this dream, I knew I arrived to this downtown block that was vacant (except for gang members and drugs addicts coming to buy drugs)...so, people were pointing to me to this room when I was roaming around... I finally open the door and there he was (his face blurred)... So here's how the dialog went down

Me: Hey...

Him: Where did you go?

Me: I was just-

Him: Did you meet other guys?

Me: No! I was j-

Him: Then where did you go?!

Me: I was just coming here and I am-

Him: I love you so much... why can't you love me just as much?

And this time, he broke down....(but didn't cry)...and he came and hug me...and I was ok with that! Can you believe it? I was literally.....really in love with this due and all i did was actually hug back...and we kissed.

How fucked up is that?

So back to the story, while were romantically hugging..there were gun shots everywhere and he grabbed my hand and we ran...but got seperated and he screamed...."meet me at starbucks!"

so I went searching for starbucks...BUT THERE WAS NONE AROUND. At all!!!! There were alot of Coffeebean shop... but no Starbucks. By this time, I was really just panicking... and I bumped into my family...and I really asked them...where is starbucks? and they said it was around the corner...

So the corner I went... and NOTHING! ..... Then, I went around....and started crying... but right before I woke up... The last scene, was a rider on a biker passing me by...and I know it was him! but that scene. was like telling me...he was letting me go.

YUP. I ain't his bitch anymore.

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DREAM 3

This dream...was the sweetest.

This third blurred face guy that I dream about... was my husband.

He was really the guy I was so content to be with. We were talking about something and he was explaining to me that he had everything firgured out and he wants kids.

And If you know me, I don't really like KIDS. But the way he was pleading with me was just really hypnotising...and I said Yes.

And then we started to have names... I immediately put dibs naming the girls if we have them..

I told him that first daughter name would be Charlotte Nur Isyafina... and he smiled and repeat it...like this:

"so....Charlotte Nur Isyafina LEE?"

Then....yes, you're right.

I freaking woke up....

Could it be, I was dreaming about Onew? .... this dream just really spoilt my whole day at work and I kept saying how I just want a good husband... everyone was so annoyed.

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So that is all the dream about those blurred faces man who made an impact in my life and made dream that I cannot stop thinking about.... and all the "what if" question just keep popping.

Alas, these dreams keep a smile on my face but ....it still remain a dream. which sucks.

It would have been so much sexier if I was REALLY A GIRLFRIEND TO A CHINESE GANGSTA!