Chapter 4
“Rose, why did you sign up for being someone else’s slave?” Sophia Bush asked, or more of her character did.
“It’s not a slave job, Manda. It’s internship. You don’t understand.” Carla said reading her script. It has been almost 4 hours doing the rehearsal. Carla seem to blend in, it was not as bad as she thought it would be.
“So who is the person you are going to look after, huh?” Sophia asked again.
“I’ve got, well it says in the programme here, John Antonio.”
“What! Are you serious?”
“Cut! Ok, that was good both of you. Carla you need to be more the character, not that you’re not feeling it but there is room for improvement. Soph, the accent need to be refined because we do not want audience to suspect how come Amanda which is your character is an American and her sister a Briton,” the director, Adam Wright said, “so let’s go to scene 65, ok Daniel are you ready?”
“Yup.” Daniel said, smiling an encouraging smile. This was the romantic part; Carla felt her body tensing up again. Not cool, Carla, she thought. When the director said “action” Carla was so surprised that she dropped her script. She quickly picked it up and turned to scene 65; Daniel was already reading his part.
“So how come you are still here? Everyone is already at the party, the movie was a success and everyone is invited to that party.”
“Well, I don’t feel like going. I am leaving the next day for the internship programme.” Carla said, Daniel acted to be surprised and looked at Carla looking confused.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot you’re on an internship, I think you’re going to get this job. You are really cool and I found you interesting. And I still do.” Daniel said, flirtingly. The script said Carla’s character needed her to stay silent and blush, but that could not possibly be done then, that day was only for script reading.
“Ok cut! Good. Carla I can see improvement, and Daniel, you’re good but I need you to be more romantic, ok? What time is it? ,” Adam asked, everyone mumble “noon”, “Ok then, that’s it for today and make sure you know the lines by next week. There is no rehearsal tomorrow as it’s the weekend and Carla, your tuition starts at 5 this afternoon. So see you guys on Monday!”
Everybody was packing up, Sophia Bush was so elegant, unlike Carla, and she seems to float around when she was walking. How Carla envied her. When Carla walked outside, Jenny was not there. She had to rush back to the agency for something “urgent”. So Carla was by herself again then she saw Daniel walking up to her when she turned around.
“So where you want to have lunch?” he asked as he put his water bottle in his bag. Carla was so stunned that Daniel was asking her that question that she just looked at him, stoned. Daniel smiled at her and waved his hand in front of her face. Carla got back to reality.
“Um...I don’t mind. Anywhere is ok.” Carla said as she felt herself blushing. She still can’t help it, Daniel was still so cute.
“Good because I have a surprise for you.”
“Daniel, I can’t hang out that late because I have tuition and I need to learn the lines and everything..” Carla was cut by Daniel.
“Chill, Carla. I know, come on, she’s waiting.” Daniel said as he grabbed her hand and led her downstairs. She? Who could ‘she’ be?, Carla thought to herself. But still, the weight of Daniel’s hand on hers was enough to get that thought out of her head. Finally, they reach downstairs. Carla mouth just dropped open when she finally knew who ‘she’ was.
“Daniel, you liar! I have been waiting for ages and who is this gorgeous friend of yours?” Emma Watson asked, smiling. Emma Watson was there and Carla just felt the world trembled or maybe it was just her, shaking out of excitement.
Carla shook Emma’s hand and she was still in shock so she really could not find her voice to say hello to Emma but Emma seemed to understand.
“Harry potter fan, huh?” she asked Daniel, he just nodded.
“A true blue one.” Carla said, finally able to find her voice. Emma laughed and asked them to sit down at the canteen. Daniel sat next to her. Carla took out her diary and pen, turn over a blank page and put it on the table.
“Can you both autograph for me please?” Both Emma and Daniel laughed but autographed the diary, nonetheless.

Hey peeps! What's up? Sorry for the lack of update, just been busy, you know. It's hard...trying to cope but everyday brings dreadness but still I have to go through it. For everyone who have been supporting me and my story, I want to say a huge thanks and I will put up Chapter 4 as soon as possible. Lately, I have been reading fan fiction of Harry Potter, I think I am going crazy. I just can't let it go even though it's over. Harry Potter books and movies are like drugs to me and I am addicted to it, big time. I think I really need saving! But Harry Potter books and movies had help me in the past with some of my personal problems. So I guess it's alright.
So there's this guy I am crushing on, he is so cute! Every morning, I would see him...And I saw him in the library yesterday, wow! He was so close and yet so far! I wish to get to know him but you know this insecurity always makes me stand back and just admire him from afar....what a waste...if I could just take out my heart and let him hear it, I guess I would not have the agony of just watching him from afar. Haiz, what a life....
Tomorrow's teacher's day, some of my friends are going back to their secondary school to pay a visit to old teachers, I don't have time at all. Ok that's a lie, I don't have teachers in my secondary school that I want to meet....Well, maybe Mr. Roslan but I have not stepped in HOUGANG SECONDARY for soooooooo long...I think it would be a little AWKWARD!!!
Ok I guess that's it....

Chapter 3
Carla rolled over her bed for the umpteenth time, she was so nervous about the rehearsal tomorrow. She read the script right after the so called ‘professional date’ with Daniel. He made her really comfortable but still, Carla could not hide her excitement, Daniel was after all a superstar. When she read the script, she got all nervous. Her character called Rose was a Personal stylist intern. She was supposed to be the makeup and stylist for the movie and Daniel was supposed to be the actor who did not like acting but was forced for that career because of his dad’s dying wish. In the middle, her character and Daniel’s kisses. This was why she was worried. Was she a good enough kisser? What if Daniel didn’t like it and withdraws? Well, at least, if he really does that then Carla had nothing to lose because Daniel would have to kiss her to know how bad a kisser she thinks she is, Carla smiled at this thought. Then the answer came to her like magic. She just knew who can help her with this crisis.
“But mum, you never kissed me. How do you know?” Carla asked, twisting the telephone cord, biting her lower lip.
“Honey, if you were a bad kisser Jordan would have broken up with you or he would have told you. Men are like that, they would not want to kiss a bad kisser while women would not mind as it is always the heart we see- “
“Mom. Please, I really do not need the feminist talk right now. Mom, I am so nervous. I mean all the actors and actress have already acted major movies and me? I have only done school productions! That’s not the worst part, there’s going to be another girl acting as my sister and guess who it is? It's Sophia Bush! Can you believe that? I think I have made myself another hole to fall in.” Carla said, panicking. She heard her mother sigh on the other line.
“Honey, do not sell yourself short. You did not buy your way through the casting. You were chosen. It’s that so hard to believe? Listen, just do what you have always been doing and I am sure you will be just fine.” Carla’s mother told her consoling. After more comforting words from her mother, Carla said good night and hung up the phone. She felt better and fell into deep sleep which turned into a nightmare at once. About Daniel shouting and asking Carla to be replaced by somebody who can kiss.....
The next day, Carla went to the rehearsal studio an hour early. Even though she was early there were a lot of people in the canteen. She saw Jenny and quickly sat down with her,
“Morning, Carla. How’s the room? Comfy?” Jenny asked.
“Yeah, it’s fine. So what are you doing here so early? I thought rehearsal doesn’t start till 9?” Carla asked, curious. Jenny just shrugged and Carla took that as something not to be interested with. She grabbed a bite from Jenny’s sandwich and ate silently as she looked around, observing.
People were everywhere. Some were reading the script, some talking and laughing, others were just so sleepy that they put their heads on the table and slept. Carla wondered if Daniel was awake, he probably was sleeping and not worrying about anything. He had acted so many times that Carla was sure this production was an easy task for him. The mood became more and more intense as 9 o’clock seem to draw nearer and nearer. Everybody seem to be going to the studio, set and rehearsal room. When it was 8:55, Carla’s blood circulation seemed to have stopped circulating because she could feel her whole body getting numb.
“Ok, time to go. Come on, Carla.” Jenny said as she got up. Carla got up in silence; she did not know what to do. Is this the end of her life? What if she really messed up? “It’s only the rehearsal, you can make mistakes. Don’t worry.” Jenny said as she patted Carla’s shoulders and led on to the rehearsal room or studio, some might say. Carla just walked on and took deep breaths to stop her from fainting and running out of the exit door like the way she wanted to so badly.

Hey peeps, so what's up? I found something that I think might make your day if you're feeling sad....and even if you're not sad, I guess it will make you laugh and smirk cause you know how true this is:
Before the marriage
HE: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
SHE: Do you want me to leave?
HE: NO! Don't even think about it.
SHE: Do you love me?
HE: Of course!
SHE: Have you ever cheated on me?
HE: NO! Why you even asking?
SHE: Will you kiss me?
HE: Yes!
SHE: Will you hit me?
HE: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
SHE: Can I trust you?
Now after the marriage read it from bottom to the top !!!!
Hmm, I guess it will make marriage less appealing now, huh? Well, not to me. I know that it is sometimes true. Your feelings will change once you're married because you are stuck with one person but I do't know, I still find marriage a beautiful thing. A little fairytale in this harsh world. Finaly, you found someone you can share your burden, happiness, love, heart, soul, money and everything with. Now, wouldn't that be awesome? I also think that it makes you a better person. To stay in a marriage, to call a stranger your own, forever, is not easy. It's no more about "I", it's about "US" now. Wow!!! That would be great....How i wish someone would just ask me to marry him...I will be of course so thrilled!! He doesn't even have to plan a wedding, I don't really care! We can save all that money and go on a Grand HONEYMOON trip! It woul be so much worthwhile! HAHA HAHA...I am dreaming too much....I need a 'wake-me-up' potion
So yesterday was the MI art festival. I had a ball, I was shouting my lungs out so much but, wonderfully bless that I have always been, I did not have a sore throat. My buddies who performed did really well, if not better than all the rehearsal, and I was proud of them!!
To:
Isabella and christine, you guys were wonderful and I can see talent in there some where!! Keep on dancing babes!
Hafizah, I love love love your malay dance. It was the best of all dancing act! everything was so precise and in order...not to mention all the cute 5 malay boys in that act!!!
Maisha( Is that how your name is spelt?), I love your voice! Can I borrow it sometimes....even the 'bad' microphone could not have hidden your true talent! The performance was great and sincere, almost wanted to cry!
Shima, love your performance. babe! Strong voice and good charisma on stage!
Melvin, the pianist that wowed me everytime, love the way you played the piano for that anime song...brought me to tears during the rehearsal and made me think of my ex...wait that's not a good thing!! But you amazing!

So yeah, to the rest of the performers who gave their heart and soul to the concert last night, great job, everyone! I was so excited yesterday that i think my talent is a moral suppoert cause I AM VERY GOOD A SUPPORTING! hehehe...the funny thing as I even told our principal, Mr. Tan that I should be the commmander of the school. He said he'll keep that in mind. Yeah, right. He probably forgotten me by now. So anyway, did I tell you another one of my classmate is dropping out of school? Yeah, and that classmate is none other than Max. Wonder how many more classmate would have to dropout before it's my turn. I hope I can make it this year. Not in the mood to retain. It's not my thing, retaining. I never have been retained my whole life except the fact that I failed O levels and had to take it again. Other than that, never ever in my life. So i hope history does not repeat itelf. I love this life now, schooling and the two best friends I made. I am not willing to lose that.

Hey peeps, what's going on people. Today was a great day because I feel so free...No homework!! And no more project!!! I hope tomorrow won't be so hard. It's getting harder by the day with school. More bad news, Max is going to withdraw...hmm tempting me to withdraw too but since I want to be a lawyer that's not an option and I don't want to give up so fast. I know I can make it. It's too early to give up now and too late to turn back the time. I need do this for myself because I deserve the best and no one else can give the best to me except myself.
So, I've been braiding Christine's hair and I am really getting good at it. Ha hahaha!!! It took me more than two years to learn braiding and now I am finally good at it....It feels good to know i achieve something even though it's jst braiding. So tomorrow is the art fest!!! I can't wait to see both of my best friends performing HAHAHAHA. They are quite good but since they are only 10 seconds performance their talent have been limited.
So I guess that's about it.....blog in when something really awesome happens...like someone declaring his love for me....hahahahaha

The journey to the office studio was nerve wrecking, every time the car stopped, Carla would ask if they had reached yet. She was supposed to meet the whole cast. As she was the female lead, she had to meet the executive producer and work out a schedule and make arrangements on where she was going to stay for the rest of the filming days.
“Can we stop to grab something to eat? It’s been 8 hours Jen, and I don’t see London in sight. I am so hungry.” Carla complained as she rubbed her stomach.
“No, we can’t. We are almost there, just hang in there for a moment.” Jenny said, a little agitated as it was the fifth time during the drive that Carla asked the same question. Jenny knew that Carla was nervous and so was she. If this movie is a success, then Carla’s life is set and so is Jenny’s life. No more paying the rent of her awful apartment. Finally, they arrived at the studio. Carla was rubbing her hand to keep them warm as she came out to the cold. Jenny and Carla walked into the lobby and were greeted by the receptionist.
“Ah, Miss Garner, we have been waiting for you. Mr. Dean is waiting for you in his office at level 3.” Said the receptionist. Carla looked over her shoulder and saw Jenny not moving to follow her to the office.
“Aren’t you going to follow me? You’re my agent, aren’t you?” Carla asked, puzzled.
“No, I can’t. I am just in charge of you.” Jenny said and with the encouraging look on Jenny’s face, Carla went upstairs to the office alone, her heart beating so hard with every step. As the lift door opened she saw the oak made door and knocked it three times.
“Come in.” Said a voice from inside. Carla opened the door and her heart just went to major rapid overdrive on seeing the people inside of the room.
It was none other than Daniel Radcliffe. The famous ‘Harry Potter’. Carla could hardly breathe, this was the guy that she had been dying to meet her whole life, not to mention all her trips to different parts of the world just to see him in the many premieres of the ‘Harry Potter’ movie series, and now there he was sitting innocently and waving at her. Carla moved step by step, breathing slowly so she won’t hyperventilate and humiliate herself because right then she could feel her heart pumping right up to her throat, wanting to come out and shout her deepest desire to Daniel. She sat at the chair the exec showed.
“So, Daniel, this is Miss Carla garner. She’s new but very talented.” Mr. Dean the executive producer said. Daniel smiled at Carla and took out a hand to shake. Carla, trembling, took the hand and smiled back. She was never going to wash her right hand again.
“Daniel here would be playing the lead man role, Carla. So, you both are the major reason if the show is going to be a success but with great actors and actress that you both really are, I don’t see the reason why this movie is not going to be a success. Anyway, we have to make arrangements on where you both would be staying and when the filming will start. You have 3 months of rehearsal then the real filming will start. Since it’s a series, you both might be coming back again for the second movie. So here’s the copy of your schedule, food and others would be paid by Warner Brothers, so no worries. You can go or take leave when given notice and Carla; you will have to attend to 3 hrs of teaching, preparing for your GCSEs. So, tomorrow, the rehearsal will start. Please do not be late...”
Daniel and Carla went out of the office after the briefing that could have gone on forever. She still could not believe that she was going to be acting side by side with Daniel Radcliffe. She kept pinching herself silently as they went down together in the lift just to make sure that she was not dreaming. The pain that her hand felt confirmed that she was not dreaming and Daniel was real, as he tapped her shoulder once the lift door opened while Carla was heading to Jenny who was waiting for her while reading a magazine.
“So, want to grab a coffee? To get to know each other. I mean it’s not a date but since we are going to be acting lovers, I don’t want you to feel nervous, like you are now.” Daniel said, gently. Carla nodded and followed Daniel to the cafeteria. How could she have felt so glum today morning? The Jordan-crisis seem centuries ago. God is always fair, Carla thought to herself, smiling.

The 7 is hot!

Oh look I am beside No, 4!!!!!!!! I think He's Freakin smokin hot!!!

Chapter 1
The summer was ending soon and yet Carla's love story was not yet complete. It felt like her world had tumbled into a big giant hole. If only she knew that Jordan was a sleazebag, she would not have dated him, period. She could not believe that Jordan hit on her best friend but she did not want to believe that her friend would lie to her. They’ve known each other for so long and their friendship would not permit one lying to each other. Carla could feel tears running down her cheek. Jordan has been the most amazing thing that had happened in her life. It was difficult to think that it had already ended. The thought taunted her like an imaginary stalker, only this time it’s not scary, it hurts.
Carla wiped her never ending falling tears; she had made up her mind. School is going to start in less than 48 hours. She has to get ready her things. She had not even bought the new book needed in secondary school. She was in the finalyear and would be taking her GCSEs, she must stop this burning feeling from making her achieve the result she had been aiming all her life. Straight As.
The door was knocked three times. Her mother, a beautiful woman to Carla, pop her head in.
“Honey, you agent is on the phone. She said it’s urgent.” Said Mrs. Garner. Carla scratched her head, wondering. Why would her agent call her? She could not have possibly gotten a role for the open audition she went to. She was not that great of an actress. She had an audition only for one open casting for the summer. A production by Warner Brothers. A movie that was supposedly to be called ‘Behind The Scenes’. Carla wanted a smaller role. The role of the cleaner because the script were so much easier but Jenny, her agent, said she had talent and to go for the lead role. It felt awkward remembering all the beautiful girls lining up, crowding around the small waiting room. Waiting for their name to be called but after that awful breakup with Jordan, the whole acting career possibilities were deleted from her mind.
“Hello, Jen. What’s up?” Carla asked while flopping down on her bed. She was just not interested anymore.
“Well, I don’t know how to say this but I will anyway. Carla, you’ve got the role!” Jenny exclaimed. Carla sat up so fast that her stomach turned into a knot and it was getting tighter and tighter as the news started to sink in. Then a thought occurred so fast in her mind that she spat it out without knowing that she did
“Wait, does this mean I’m not going back to school?”
“Well, yeah but you know the rule here in UK. They will get you a private tutor because you’re still underage and GCSEs is compulsory. Why? Is anything the matter?” Jenny asked, concerned. Carla said no and hung up the phone. She was looking forward to going back to school. To the comforting arm and words of her friends for her mending heart. Now all she can look forward to is nothing but acting as somebody else.

The next day, Jenny was in Carla’s house. The production of the movie was to start immediately. Mrs. Garner was so proud of her daughter as she knew her daughter’s dream was coming true and so she did not understand why Carla looked as if her deadline had arrived. She made a questioning look to her daughter.
“I just feel like I wish I could go back to school. You know, after the Jordan-crisis. I mean it’s not like you did not help. I just wish to have someone to agree with me. To bitch about Jordan.” Carla sighs. Her mom had widened her already big eyes when she said the B word but she could not help feeling so depressed. She is going to be away for about 9 months from the people she loves. She drank her last drop of the chocolate coffee her mother made for her. She hugged her mom and tears started to flow down naturally.
“Write to me everyday, mom. I am going to miss you so much.” Carla said, her voice croaked as more tears flowed down. Her mom wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. It was comforting and they hugged one last time as Carla let go of her mom and walked out of the door and walked to Jenny’s car. Carla went in the car and Jenny reversed out of the drive way and onto the road. Carla waved until her mom was out of sight.
“You ready?” Jenny asked.
“No, but I will be later.”

Wow! What a day it has been for me. Finally, after so many ages, I turly had fun. For the past 2 days, yours truly, went to an even that was called "THE 3RD ASIAN SCHOOLS VOLLEY BALL TOURNEMENT" at Republic Polytehnic! At first i thought it was a GIRL tournement but since, yours truly is a luck stars, the heavens was on my side. IT WAS A BOYS TOURNEY!!!! Just imagine my excitement. But, of course, it was not all fun and game, we had to complete the real task. The actual reason why we were even there. To mop the floors. Haiz. So when we were first came, we were brief by the teacher in charge. So he gave us a new term. We weren't moppers people, we were floor handelers. No difference, really. Weather we liked it or not, we were still cleaning the floors. But all was not lost, you could say we got the VVVVVIP seats. Hahaha, right in front.....upclose and personal.
So, the first match was....i forgot. But all i know is(Okay, I know this is pretty shallow, but I can't help it) there were alot of HANDSOME, CUTE, HOT guys around. I felt like I was given a treat! Now don't say that I am such a superficial person, I am just a girl appreciating God's great creation on men! Now there's nothing wrong with that. So here's the list of the countries that has hot guys in it.
Singapore- No. 6 and 12
Indonesia-No. 1
Vietnam- No. 14 and 9
Thailand- No. 4,3 ,7,and 12
Sri Lanka- No. 2
Okay, so that's all i guess....Most of the Hong Kong players were smoking hot but I could not have the memory to remember their jersey number. Too excited I guess. You should have watch the match between Thailand and China!!! It was so exciting, I did not even sat down through out the match. It was a fast match!!! And Thailand won!! I don't know why I was so excited. I am not even a Thai. Maybe because there were alot of 'eye-feasting' boys inside! Hahaha... okay I saw that look, I'll stop being such a bimbo.
I had alot of fun dancing to the songs they were playing during each intervals. The songs were replayed over and over and over.........
But I could not stop myself dancing to Justin Timberlake's songs. He's really such an impressive singer/songwriter.
Not to metion hot.
Okat, maybe without the facial hair, I suppose.
Anyway, we took some pictures with the Thailand players. Lucky as I have always been....No surprise here, I was standing beside the hottest guy in the group....NO. 4!!!!! hahaha....I'll post it here once Fiona send me the picture!!! HAHAHAHA! So that was it I guess. Pretty interesting. I love this type of days where I had innocent fun...okay maybe not so innocent since most of the time I was looking at the guys like some lost love puppy.....but it was great fun to spend around my best friends, Isabella and Christine, and made new friends along the way!
I am loving it!

So I am doing this on daily basis I see....Well, the more i do it the more I like letting my feekings known to the world. I find it very relaxing. So anyways, today was a very freaky day. Hafizah lend me her MOB book and I almost lost it (Don't worry Hafizah, the book is safe.) lucky I did not panic though I have to admit when the book was temporarily lost in McDonalads, my heart was thumping itself against my chest so hard, I was surprised that it did not leave a mark. Hahaha. Being lame as usual. So that was an exciting yet scary moment for today and the most annoying thing about this little adventure is that it had to happened when I was already on the way home and the time was so late. I reach home at about 9pm. I feel so tired. I wrote a song today in IRP lessson in school. I am going to show you guys after I write the entry of today. I think it;s a real cool song I've ever created. Most people whom I've confide the poem with said it was a cool song. I hope somebody can come out with the melody and tune for me so I could sing my OWN song. Gonna feel real cool if I finaly sing what I've written from the bottom of my heart. I guess it will sound more sincere if you wrote your own song.

I've beem reading this book for stress relief; 1003 great things about being a woman.
It's an amazing book though it's just simple sentences and quotes. I really love it. All the woman in the world should read it (don't woory, girls, I wasn't paid to advertise this), it's the kind of that put a smile on your face when you truely need it. I find it so funny cause today when i read that book OUT LOUD girls were nodding in agreement. I really felt GIRL POWER! It was so fun. I mean it's a harsh world for us, woman, no one can deny. So reading this book would make us feel sooooooo good. Cause we beating guys in so many ways that I did not even realize. OK enough of ego boosting...

(Verse#1)
Yeah...
I think about you
You know I do
But I have to fight it
This feeling for you

(Verse#2)
Oh..wooo...oh
I see you looking over here
It's a longing of so many years
This feeling's driving me insane
No, baby, don't make me stay

Chorus
Cheat on him(NO!)
I can never do that
Cheat on him(NO!)
I can't and I won't
Because......
I've pledge my heart and soul
To him

(Verse#3)
If only you'd came earlier
We might have this, dear
It doesn't matter anyway
Cause you can't make me stay

Chorus

Bridge
Me and him share kisses
Under the moonlight
Me and him Share misses
In the daylight
No, I can't cheat on him

(Chorus)x2

Hey People....sorry for the pic, such a soreeye. But anyway, I just wanted to put a picture of myself. This blog is full of other people and my thoughts...It needed some spice to it. And I am a SPICE! HAHAHA

So actually, I am here to confess something that has been bruising my heart and hurting my soul. I think I have develop an evil inside of me. I fell so dirty and so angry all the time. It's irate me to the core because I don't understand this feeling of hatered to so many people. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be a hater but I am hating people who are only being themselves. I feel so slefish and I feel like my soul is being killed as I hate more and more people. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I be the girl who is hated than the girl who is hating? Somebody please explain why I am being so angry and why am I always hurting people's feelings?

I think I need serious help. I hate myself so much for feeling this way but I don't want to lie to myself and fake. I don't want to lie to anyone and say I like them when I don't. But I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. What am I supposed to do? I feel so so so so so evil.....I need help.

Stop me!

I feel so dirty,

Let the rain fall please.

I wanna cry

Don't stop me

Why don't you stop me?

Stop me from lying

Through my teeth

Why don't you stop me?

Stop me from hating

you...

I feel unclean

My soul is broken

I wanna stop this

But I know that I can't

So won't you please stop me?

From tearing my soul apart

Please just stop me

From breaking your heart

Why can't I look at myself?

Maybe it's time for me

To get out of this skin

To put a fake one

And try not to be

me.......

The day went on as usual with the lazy morning wake up call. felt sooooo gorgy..Then went out of the house ALONE and went down to the busstop. Nothing really happened. It's a totally boring day except for that all my friends were super tired especially Christine....she claimed she only slept 2 hours the day before....pooor girl. The MANY TESTs are killing me soooo ever slowly.. I wonder why this is not first degree murder..ha ha ha ha
Anyway, I am in the bus..nothing to do so just blog. I am so sick of so many people in school and I hate soooo many people, I feel evil...Wow...in the bus and the guy beside me is an artist, I am looking at his work right now. It's really nice. Super HOTTTT. Oh ya, if you notice there's 2 video clips i put which is totally a non famouse person.....My sister chance over it and i think he is super hot!!!! I wanna marry HIM!!! That make him....err...number 157????Ha ha ha ha...Crazy. I dreamt i got married....hahahahaha....I loved that dream and i still want to marry....NOW! AH AH AHHAHAHAHAHA.......oh yeah thanks christine in saying I've got talent. You're the first to say that.......and to isabell too.....Love u guys to death. I think the friends curse is off me.....GREAT!

So the day went by, and it's been so long since I've updated this blog. Yesterday had so much fun when my buddies came to my CRIB! Had so much fun except that YJ was such a party spoiler. He hardly said anything at all.......which i think its cool, i mean it's a free country, isn't it? Okay. What was my point again? Never mind, I am just confusing myself.
So I woke up at 4a.m to clean the house for the guest...(hem hem) Then I went back to bed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha . My eyes could not hold. So woke at 9:30a.m and went to take a bath......so i smsed my buddies who were still at home when they're staying across the island......bad estimation so end up my friends came around at noon. So we didn't really start at the real work we're supposed to do...we really extremely slack. And christine brought her guitar and started singing and I started to feel so swayish...(is that even a word?)...cause her voice is an angelic voice!!!! I love x3 her voice! And i felt a little jealous, I must say...cause my voice is so 'nowhere' compared to her( No offence, christine. I still luv U loads!!) I bet all the three we gagaga over christine voice. At the very end of yesterday, we (that is to say me and Christine) sang a m2m minus 1 song. I can't remember what we sang....but it was fun. I want to perform for the teachers day thingy but I don't think I will go if Christine is not up for it. I think people would seriously throw tomato at me if I were to sing solo........
So today nothing really happened....I just got this poem playing in my head....sorry you guys...you can don't read it....ha ha ha ha..it's a free world.....ain't it?

The Title:
It's Not Easy

You're saying I'm the one
Again
You're pleading I should stay
Again
You're calling me at night
Again

You think it's easy
You think you smart
But don't you even realize
That I don't want you back
You think you cool
You think you hot
But don't you even realize
That I don't give a damn

Stop calling me your girl
I ain't even your homey
It's not easy to get back, boy
Don't you even think
I ain't coming back to you
Can;t you see, boy
Your love ain't never coming through.....

Hey peeps! So today was an ok day, until the unreasonable gave us a test at the spur of the moment....Was so pissed lah! I mean Ms. Unreasonable didn't even thought us the skill and yet it's for promos...so weird, right? Man, what am I doing, again? BITCHING....haiz.maybe I am such a....what's the word? Oh yeah, a freaking gossip spreader!
By the way, I am going to save from now on so I am sooooo hungry, going to die soon if I don't eat but what to do? I have to save for Harry Potter!!! Oh you don't get what I mean? Right let me explain....
So I lend my two precious souls to my friends (HALF BLOOD PRINCE & THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS) so I am souless....I decided it was time to buy the whole set of Harry Potter's Book series. I found one at Amazon.com. It was such a beautiful set. It's in a treasure chest (to all harry potter fan, I recommened you go and take a look at it!) It cost around $200, so I desperately need to save from now.....It will be out in september!!! I just have to have it, own it!

So yeah, I know some may think that I am such a weirdo, but I seriously think this is my passion you know. So please understand and not judge me, thanks eh....

So this is to my friend that asked me this question 2 days ago "Shilla, how you mend a broken heart" (I hope this will help)
OK, so I am not going to say the typical saying to you, all that just-let-it-go shit (sorry for the language peeps, but I am kinda pms-ing right now). So, honestly, there's really no 'real' way to mend a broken heart. It's always about how you deal with it. Babe, I know it's hard but let me tell you one thing, cause I don't really know your situation, it's his loss. Maybe yours too. So you both are suffering and as the saying goes "WITHOUT SUFFERING THERE WILL BE NO COMPASSION." I strongly recommend you to cry one last time. This time, cry as loud, as painful, as pityful and you like. Just let it all out. It's time to feel sorry for yourself. Serious, that's what I did. And it helps,crying. Then the next step, you got it right, to forgive that person. It really heal your heart the right way. And after reading your blog....you do know how you're a precious girl worth to be a treasure. (distracted by Nisa....Dunno what to write)
So don't worry.....the mending will happened, just deal with the pain for now....It's what makes us human, like Prof. Dumbledore said to harry in OOTP.
So did I helped? Must tell me via sms ok?

So...anything else to write? Let me ponder for a moment.....
OH YEAH....
I LOVE YOU HARRY POTTER!