A little something from me. Love to you.

Enjoy.

I miss you all

Something for my friends.

I am sitting here infront of my computer with a completely blank mind


I think my period is coming soon because I am having the PMS.


I hate this.


I am feeling angry and lonely!


How can I not have someone in my life right now?


Someone to actually wants to be with me.


It's asking too much.


So why can't I just be happy with what I have?













And then I realize.
I have nothing.
No future.
Nothing.
I am useless.
Just like those who I judge.













I am a failure.

When parents becomes a hassle.

I know it sound mean but, what the heck, I am freaking angry.

I don't get it why my dad have to be so egoistic.

Actually, I don't get it why he is even in my room.


It's irritating and freakishly bringing me to hate every single of life.


It seems like my dad knows everything, that is what he claims and it's getting on my nerve. I wish he would just leave the room already.



I know this may sound as if I am some ungrateful child but if you were in the same room, you'll get this stupid rushing hatred feelings running through your veins.


What can I say?


When a girl is piss...there not much one can do about it.


And it's about being honest, isn't it?


Anyways, I have been updating this blog quite frequently lately I have been neglecting my YouTube account. I could never get things to be balanced.
My life is a jumble of mess and I miss my friends and....life is just at the worst for me.
I really hope this is not the beginning of my life.


I can just imagine the chapter of the past of my life ending..
And shilla thinks this was the ending of her life when she left the school ground and walk out the gate but she has no idea that it was just the beginning...

God. I really hope I am not a fictional character that was doom for failure.

Or was written by Stephen King.

His novel always had the protagonist being miserable.

Like in Misery. That would be bad.


I just wish I get a reply soon from NAFA...I just can't not go to school anymore. It's killing me.

A denial PROBLEM

I have been wondering...since there is not much I can do besides wondering.. why people keep DENYING when they are in love with their best friends. I, personally, don't think it's embarassing to actually feel this way. So it might be a tricky situation but when you keep telling me about how much you don't feel that way about your supposedly best friend, it just makes it more obvious.

Have anyone read the book "He's just not that into you"?

Well, I have.

So I can TELL the sign when someone is into someone.


I am not asking people to tell the dude you're in love with him. I know the situation. Heck, I have been in the situation and telling that friend that you love him more than you're suppose to could actually cause damages. But please for crying out loud, DON'T DENY IT.


I am not him. I am a friend and I will understand. We might even have a few laughs about it. I might even agree that he's HOT.

Or something like that.


Anyway, I took the entrance test today.

It was HORRIBLE as some of my closest friends have already known. The drawing part was fine and then I realize I didn't even finish my paper. Ass.

And the stupid invigilator keep saying
"Read the questions carefully and over and over, people. Understand the question. Nobody is suppose to talk to anyone or ask what the question is meant. If you understand, then it's good. If you don't, then too bad."

What a way to make me panic. EVEN MORE.


After I finished my poster, I knew I lost it.



But, I wish I make it. I know I have some creative juices, it's just wasn't it full form today.



Wow, talk about a DENIAL PROBLEM.

I will get the result in 3 to 4 weeks and I am praying hard I will get in. I am hoping they see some talent in me because I really do want to learn to do videos and stuff and it would be quite fun making videos as a job.


If I don't get in, I might retake my O's again.


Wow, what a life I am having.

Hearts4Ever guys,
Shilla.