Omg....121 post....that is so crazy and it totally cool at the same time.
Anyways, I am in a bus and I am on the way home...almost reaching I guess.. Give or take about 15 mins more.
Well, if you are wondering how I manage to blog in a bus...
The bad news is; no, the bus does not have wireless. So DO NOT bring your laptop and hop on a bus for 2 hours.
How I am doing this is pretty easy; I have a mobile broadband... So now, I can surf wherever and whenever I want to.
School sucks. I can say this openly here because no one knows about my blog and I am going to delete the link from my facebook and youtube.
This place should block out evil people.
Some people in this school seem to have a habit of not respecting other's loss in life. I am not going to say anymore as this may be use against me and I do not need any more drama in school. If you're my friend, just ask me and I WILL TELL YOU.
I just kind of found out that I have only 8 people who I believe are my friends.
Isn't that just great? 8 friends.
They are all so special to me and it's crazy how I manage to be friends with them...All of them are so cool, smart and totally fabulicious.
But, then again, I am their friend. So my judgement may be biased.
Wow, I am passing by geylang and the store for Hari Raya are now open.....the decoration are great even though I cannot see how the lighting is because it's still a hot humid day But I am pretty sure it's beautiful.
I wonder when I am going to go shopping for Hari Raya.
I hope we can this year. At least one traditional baju kurung.
Not like last year.
But, if that don't happen, I think I will be ok.
My b'day is coming soon. About 3 weeks to go!!! I cannot wait to meet my friends and have dinner and catch up all night long. Maybe even go clubbing with me! For the ones who are legal and that can enter a club.
Maybe I won't even club.....I don't know. I want to but I don't want to go alone.
Anyway, I am becoming a twitter addict. Been twittering non stop just now...
If you want to follow me here's my twitter
www.twitter.com/roshillacullen
you guys can check out the most random things I tweet.
This twittering makes me feel better.
It's like I have a friend that keep asking me what I am doing.
Ha, the things you say when you're such a loner.
Twitter becoming your "friend"
Anyway, I am running out of thing to say
So blog out!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I can't seem to balance this out.
Hey.
I really cannot find my Ying and Yang right now.
What i meant is that, I can never find a balance to blog or do a vlog at the same time.
Anyways, I am here to blog about something on a local context because I think if I vlog this, it would not be understandable
to the wider communities called the Non-singaporean people.
So, fasting month had begun and I am still alive and surviving. At the same time, I am reminded of the poor and how their life goes about without food and water,
Thus, this particular holy month of ramadan, I sure know how bless I am. So I should stop the BITCHING about life. LOL.
There's nothing much to blog, actually, because I am out of stories to tell.
The thing is, I had alot to tell when I was working.
Maybe because there not much to do that day.
Well, anyways, I got to go. Not that I am rushing anywhere that is.... Just that my brain has become faulty with all the drawings in school.
So, bye.
I really cannot find my Ying and Yang right now.
What i meant is that, I can never find a balance to blog or do a vlog at the same time.
Anyways, I am here to blog about something on a local context because I think if I vlog this, it would not be understandable
to the wider communities called the Non-singaporean people.
So, fasting month had begun and I am still alive and surviving. At the same time, I am reminded of the poor and how their life goes about without food and water,
Thus, this particular holy month of ramadan, I sure know how bless I am. So I should stop the BITCHING about life. LOL.
There's nothing much to blog, actually, because I am out of stories to tell.
The thing is, I had alot to tell when I was working.
Maybe because there not much to do that day.
Well, anyways, I got to go. Not that I am rushing anywhere that is.... Just that my brain has become faulty with all the drawings in school.
So, bye.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
I am going crazy on my Mac book!
Please listen to this....i am beggin. Then please comment either in my youtube or my tag...Please!!!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I Keep on wondering
So here I am writting in on my blog rather than videoing my VLOG which is way past overdue...
And to Christine, Yes, I did pluck my eyebrows. Went against the parents wishes and I am going to burn in hell for ever committing this sin. LOL.
Back to the topic, I was surfing the net and I wondered if those writers that I love so dearly will ever write a new book or at least write something at all. But, to my dismay, there is no such news. I am quite bump on the contary on the "NO-NEWS" of Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun. She has not update us on anything and it seems like she had taken the leaking problem to her heart.
Guys, that woman is not over it. No. She is so far from over it that I think she might have totally FORGOTTEN about this book that she had announce to the world that she would love to write.
How bad can a wound be?
People out there are even willing to sign an online pettition and they even surpassed their goal of 5000 signatures and yet still the trend of NO-NEWS keep on playing on.
Check out this webbie guys:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Please-Finish-Midnight-Sun
The pettition is even close and yet...Stephenie Meyer seemed to be turning on a deaf ears.
I am pretty sure she's almost done with it and yet...why is she doing this to us?
I think we all know the answer.
She just want to punish innocent people.
Deep down, we all know that she is somehow a saddist.
And a total uptight spoilt sulk.
I don't mean to insult her but it's way too long.
I mean if she doesn't want to write it at all, at least admit in her website and let us go from the wall call "Patiently Waiting".
And to Christine, Yes, I did pluck my eyebrows. Went against the parents wishes and I am going to burn in hell for ever committing this sin. LOL.
Back to the topic, I was surfing the net and I wondered if those writers that I love so dearly will ever write a new book or at least write something at all. But, to my dismay, there is no such news. I am quite bump on the contary on the "NO-NEWS" of Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun. She has not update us on anything and it seems like she had taken the leaking problem to her heart.
Guys, that woman is not over it. No. She is so far from over it that I think she might have totally FORGOTTEN about this book that she had announce to the world that she would love to write.
How bad can a wound be?
People out there are even willing to sign an online pettition and they even surpassed their goal of 5000 signatures and yet still the trend of NO-NEWS keep on playing on.
Check out this webbie guys:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/Please-Finish-Midnight-Sun
The pettition is even close and yet...Stephenie Meyer seemed to be turning on a deaf ears.
I am pretty sure she's almost done with it and yet...why is she doing this to us?
I think we all know the answer.
She just want to punish innocent people.
Deep down, we all know that she is somehow a saddist.
And a total uptight spoilt sulk.
I don't mean to insult her but it's way too long.
I mean if she doesn't want to write it at all, at least admit in her website and let us go from the wall call "Patiently Waiting".
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Do not WORRY!
Hey peeps!
Don't worry, I am feeling quite alright tonight and I am just here to blog normal stuff. So no emo today. LOL.
Anyways, I was working today and a group of caucasion men came in to the restaurant to eat (Duh!) and from their accent, I was pretty sure they were from australia. I mean, the way they say water to WA-DER....(real fast)...kind of gave them away. Normally, I would say that they're cute and all that but this is not the case. You see, the restaurant I am working at caters austrailian cusine....And this man must probably be missing their homeland because all of them ordered the same thing...
THE BLUE MOUNTAIN BURGER.
You probably would not understand why ordering this burger has anything to do with their country but as far as the research I have done..it state that there's a mountain in Australia that is called the blue mountain. I bet those Australian men were really missing the cool, unpolluted air in the down under, huh?
It was kind of weird seeing them and serving them the same plate four times! I had to supress a smile because it was really just hilarious.
I think I would be homesick too if I was in another country and there's this restaurant that caters Singaporean food. Imagine them selling the 'Esplanade' burger!!!!
There isn't much going on today beside that...
Oh no!
There was another family that dine in and they had the most politest boy as their son!
I was so amazed. He even asked his parents to leave a tip on the table which I collected of course.
Hey, it was only $2.
He's quite cute too and probably about 15 yrs old.
Dang it! Why am I born too early?
Anyway got to go and upload a video cover I made on YouTube....Check it out.
Adios amigo and ladies,
Shilla
Don't worry, I am feeling quite alright tonight and I am just here to blog normal stuff. So no emo today. LOL.
Anyways, I was working today and a group of caucasion men came in to the restaurant to eat (Duh!) and from their accent, I was pretty sure they were from australia. I mean, the way they say water to WA-DER....(real fast)...kind of gave them away. Normally, I would say that they're cute and all that but this is not the case. You see, the restaurant I am working at caters austrailian cusine....And this man must probably be missing their homeland because all of them ordered the same thing...
THE BLUE MOUNTAIN BURGER.
You probably would not understand why ordering this burger has anything to do with their country but as far as the research I have done..it state that there's a mountain in Australia that is called the blue mountain. I bet those Australian men were really missing the cool, unpolluted air in the down under, huh?
It was kind of weird seeing them and serving them the same plate four times! I had to supress a smile because it was really just hilarious.
I think I would be homesick too if I was in another country and there's this restaurant that caters Singaporean food. Imagine them selling the 'Esplanade' burger!!!!
There isn't much going on today beside that...
Oh no!
There was another family that dine in and they had the most politest boy as their son!
I was so amazed. He even asked his parents to leave a tip on the table which I collected of course.
Hey, it was only $2.
He's quite cute too and probably about 15 yrs old.
Dang it! Why am I born too early?
Anyway got to go and upload a video cover I made on YouTube....Check it out.
Adios amigo and ladies,
Shilla
Saturday, August 08, 2009
THE NO DIFFERENCE
It's not different to feel depression and to keep hearing happy song that sing to you about a guy who is the one you want to be with than to just keep on feeling depressed and sitting alone in your room, helpless.
It makes you want to cry.
Cuddle yourself because you cannot find anyone who would understand this pain.
YOU don't even understand this pain you're going through.
You don't understand why you're listening to song that just keep on making the cut deeper than it already is.
You just don't and you try not to cry.
Hold it back, hold it back, please don't fall.
You keep thinking that.
Because you know, once the first tears fall and roll down your cheeks, there is no stopping it.
I just wish sometimes that I don't feel thiss feeling of depression. Or lonliness.
This feeling is so overwhelming. It makes me feel that my worst nightmare have come true.
Being alone all my life.
I don't know how not feel this way and be ok again.
People have told me to just cry...to just let it go. To feel the pain.
Once it's over, it's going to be fine.
But it's not.
It just keep coming back.
Like a ghost waiting in the shadows.
I hate it when my blog is like this. Like I am drowning in the waters and making this all dark. I want to be me again. The happy me. The one who doesn't care of what others think of her. The one who has her feet up off the ground. The one who don't need to feel the love of a man to make her feel whole. The one with no longing.
The one that was free from pain and hurt. The one who TRIED to be happy somehow.
I can't find her.
And this is not even my birthday.
I hope on my birthday, it's not like this.
I don't want to have any more birthday blues.
I don't want to feel like this.
I just wish I never have fallen in love.
Then I wouldn't know how great and powerful it is to care for someone so much and knowing that he does for me too. I wouldn't know what it's like to be heartbroken when I lose that person.
How can wanting this be so bad and yet I cannot do anything about it?
Am I too picky? or is it because...it's me?
It's so confusing when I try to logic this out.
There seem to be no logic.
And I am losing patience trying to find.
I just want to be found.
Again, it just seem to be too much to ask.
Almost Gave up blogging today.
As you can see from the title, I really did feel like doing it just now.
Why, you may ask.
It's because I forgot my own username and I cannot remember my password.
Someone scream ALZHEIMERS already!
I really think I do have that.
Such an early age.
I need to get a journal to record everything down before it's too late and I forget who my friends are!
So, I really have not been updating these past few days and I decided to give you guys a PLAY BY PLAY.
Like christine...with the dates and everything.
HERE I GO.
3rd August 2009
Let me remember a few details.
Went to school. Ended class at 1.
Photograpgy was a torture. It's really difficult.
BUMMER.
Went back home. Rest a little.
Go out at 5:15 and reach work late.
But, that's alright.
Finish work at 11 and got a ride back home from dad.
Reach home and went to the internet and surf like crazy.
Slept at 4.
4th August 2009
Woke up at 12. Bathe.
Feel bad for skipping school (again).
Went out of the house at 1 and reach Woodgroves Secondary School at 2.20 pm.
End of work= End of being such a dork at school.
Contact friends to eat dinner.
They were busy with homework and important stuff.
I can't blame them.
I was so last minute.
So ate alone.
At long john.
The depression sank in.
5th August 2009.
Went to school. But late. Reach about half an hour later.
Teacher forgave such a conduct and decided to chillax.
Felt like a loner in class.
Depression sunk in really fast.
Texted friends to say I miss them(I REALLY DO SO SO SO SO MUCH).
They texted back to say they do too. (MISS ME, I MEAN).
Felt really sad. Wanted to run to MI.
Almost cried in class.
Classmate body language scream that they wanted to avoid me in everyway.
Call my dad to fetch me and have lunch together.
Dad came to the rescue.
Cried in the car....broke down, finally.
Dad suggested a few brutal way to tackle those people who have hurt me.
I smiled. Because my dad still love me. So much from what I have seen.
Ate at Macs with Dad and had alot of fun talking to my father!
Went back home and cried to sister again.
She understood the situation better and ask if I wanted her to come and fetch me everyday after school?
Isn't she such an angel?
I LOVE HER TO BITS.
6th August 2009
It was a thurday.
No school. No work.
I love EVERY minute of it!
it's really gr8 to stay at home and not be bothered by anyone.
I mostly slept the whole day.
Enjoying the feel of my bed and dreaming about Nick Jonas.
TODAY- 7TH AUGUST 2009
Went to school.
Met Video Production lecturer for the first time.
He was way boring.
And uncool.
In a very likable way. And he is adorable!
With his half black, half white specs.
LOL.
Found a guy I like.
Really cute and nerdy.
With specs and even awkward movement.
Love to look at him cause it makes him kind of nervous.
Hahaha.
Went to work.
Enjoyed every minute of it.
Went back home.
Menses cramp kicking in and I even made it my MSN name. LOL.
That's it. I know it's not as elaborative as Christine but I couldn't find the power to remember every detail that day. Guess its not that significant huh?
Never going to update like this again.
Love,
Shilla.
PS
I love all my friends in MI!!
Why, you may ask.
It's because I forgot my own username and I cannot remember my password.
Someone scream ALZHEIMERS already!
I really think I do have that.
Such an early age.
I need to get a journal to record everything down before it's too late and I forget who my friends are!
So, I really have not been updating these past few days and I decided to give you guys a PLAY BY PLAY.
Like christine...with the dates and everything.
HERE I GO.
3rd August 2009
Let me remember a few details.
Went to school. Ended class at 1.
Photograpgy was a torture. It's really difficult.
BUMMER.
Went back home. Rest a little.
Go out at 5:15 and reach work late.
But, that's alright.
Finish work at 11 and got a ride back home from dad.
Reach home and went to the internet and surf like crazy.
Slept at 4.
4th August 2009
Woke up at 12. Bathe.
Feel bad for skipping school (again).
Went out of the house at 1 and reach Woodgroves Secondary School at 2.20 pm.
End of work= End of being such a dork at school.
Contact friends to eat dinner.
They were busy with homework and important stuff.
I can't blame them.
I was so last minute.
So ate alone.
At long john.
The depression sank in.
5th August 2009.
Went to school. But late. Reach about half an hour later.
Teacher forgave such a conduct and decided to chillax.
Felt like a loner in class.
Depression sunk in really fast.
Texted friends to say I miss them(I REALLY DO SO SO SO SO MUCH).
They texted back to say they do too. (MISS ME, I MEAN).
Felt really sad. Wanted to run to MI.
Almost cried in class.
Classmate body language scream that they wanted to avoid me in everyway.
Call my dad to fetch me and have lunch together.
Dad came to the rescue.
Cried in the car....broke down, finally.
Dad suggested a few brutal way to tackle those people who have hurt me.
I smiled. Because my dad still love me. So much from what I have seen.
Ate at Macs with Dad and had alot of fun talking to my father!
Went back home and cried to sister again.
She understood the situation better and ask if I wanted her to come and fetch me everyday after school?
Isn't she such an angel?
I LOVE HER TO BITS.
6th August 2009
It was a thurday.
No school. No work.
I love EVERY minute of it!
it's really gr8 to stay at home and not be bothered by anyone.
I mostly slept the whole day.
Enjoying the feel of my bed and dreaming about Nick Jonas.
TODAY- 7TH AUGUST 2009
Went to school.
Met Video Production lecturer for the first time.
He was way boring.
And uncool.
In a very likable way. And he is adorable!
With his half black, half white specs.
LOL.
Found a guy I like.
Really cute and nerdy.
With specs and even awkward movement.
Love to look at him cause it makes him kind of nervous.
Hahaha.
Went to work.
Enjoyed every minute of it.
Went back home.
Menses cramp kicking in and I even made it my MSN name. LOL.
That's it. I know it's not as elaborative as Christine but I couldn't find the power to remember every detail that day. Guess its not that significant huh?
Never going to update like this again.
Love,
Shilla.
PS
I love all my friends in MI!!
Saturday, August 01, 2009
IT's been AGES!
Hey....
It's totally been ages.
Like Oh My God!
Like almost a year.
But not.
It's like..
5 months.
No.
It's about 3.
I think.
Whateves.
What?
Short forms are so the in thing this season, y'all!
Bimbo moment.
Anyways...
I am really happy for the internet being up again. Now I can update my blog and VLOG. That's the most important thing. Got so many many many many things to do. But yet, I haven't done anything yet.
Anyways let me update on the last few days.
School fucking started. I hate every moment of it with a smile.
I have been working and so this led me to skipping school.
People have been saying that I am making excuses. But well, they're not in my shoes so I guess they don't know.
School make me realize how much I miss my best friends. I really do and wished that they were there or at least I would find somebody who is just like them. So far, I have no luck.
Can't say that I am happy there.
Quite unhappy actually.
Days have been quite torturing. Wished I stayed in MI or at least beg to stay then at least I do not have to try to fit in or try making friends.
To be truthful, I am not making friends.
I keep to myself. And, I think, it's better that way.
I feel a little bitchy and arrogant because I keep judging.
That's bad.
Met up with friends regularly these past few days to keep myself happy and alive. They never fail to put a smile on my face and make me comfortable as usual. They respect my opinions and are mature enough to not laugh at my stupidity or discriminate me. They love me too much to hurt me. Thus, my love for them is as huge as my love for my family.
They say this is too cliche.
But, yet, this is the upmost truth.
I will post the videos soon....hahahaha...But it might take a while.
Lots. Of. LURVE.
Shilla
It's totally been ages.
Like Oh My God!
Like almost a year.
But not.
It's like..
5 months.
No.
It's about 3.
I think.
Whateves.
What?
Short forms are so the in thing this season, y'all!
Bimbo moment.
Anyways...
I am really happy for the internet being up again. Now I can update my blog and VLOG. That's the most important thing. Got so many many many many things to do. But yet, I haven't done anything yet.
Anyways let me update on the last few days.
School fucking started. I hate every moment of it with a smile.
I have been working and so this led me to skipping school.
People have been saying that I am making excuses. But well, they're not in my shoes so I guess they don't know.
School make me realize how much I miss my best friends. I really do and wished that they were there or at least I would find somebody who is just like them. So far, I have no luck.
Can't say that I am happy there.
Quite unhappy actually.
Days have been quite torturing. Wished I stayed in MI or at least beg to stay then at least I do not have to try to fit in or try making friends.
To be truthful, I am not making friends.
I keep to myself. And, I think, it's better that way.
I feel a little bitchy and arrogant because I keep judging.
That's bad.
Met up with friends regularly these past few days to keep myself happy and alive. They never fail to put a smile on my face and make me comfortable as usual. They respect my opinions and are mature enough to not laugh at my stupidity or discriminate me. They love me too much to hurt me. Thus, my love for them is as huge as my love for my family.
They say this is too cliche.
But, yet, this is the upmost truth.
I will post the videos soon....hahahaha...But it might take a while.
Lots. Of. LURVE.
Shilla
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I am sitting here infront of my computer with a completely blank mind
I think my period is coming soon because I am having the PMS.
I hate this.
I am feeling angry and lonely!
How can I not have someone in my life right now?
Someone to actually wants to be with me.
It's asking too much.
So why can't I just be happy with what I have?
And then I realize.
I have nothing.
No future.
Nothing.
I am useless.
Just like those who I judge.
I am a failure.
I think my period is coming soon because I am having the PMS.
I hate this.
I am feeling angry and lonely!
How can I not have someone in my life right now?
Someone to actually wants to be with me.
It's asking too much.
So why can't I just be happy with what I have?
And then I realize.
I have nothing.
No future.
Nothing.
I am useless.
Just like those who I judge.
I am a failure.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
When parents becomes a hassle.
I know it sound mean but, what the heck, I am freaking angry.
I don't get it why my dad have to be so egoistic.
Actually, I don't get it why he is even in my room.
It's irritating and freakishly bringing me to hate every single of life.
It seems like my dad knows everything, that is what he claims and it's getting on my nerve. I wish he would just leave the room already.
I know this may sound as if I am some ungrateful child but if you were in the same room, you'll get this stupid rushing hatred feelings running through your veins.
What can I say?
When a girl is piss...there not much one can do about it.
And it's about being honest, isn't it?
Anyways, I have been updating this blog quite frequently lately I have been neglecting my YouTube account. I could never get things to be balanced.
My life is a jumble of mess and I miss my friends and....life is just at the worst for me.
I really hope this is not the beginning of my life.
I can just imagine the chapter of the past of my life ending..
And shilla thinks this was the ending of her life when she left the school ground and walk out the gate but she has no idea that it was just the beginning...
God. I really hope I am not a fictional character that was doom for failure.
Or was written by Stephen King.
His novel always had the protagonist being miserable.
Like in Misery. That would be bad.
I just wish I get a reply soon from NAFA...I just can't not go to school anymore. It's killing me.
I don't get it why my dad have to be so egoistic.
Actually, I don't get it why he is even in my room.
It's irritating and freakishly bringing me to hate every single of life.
It seems like my dad knows everything, that is what he claims and it's getting on my nerve. I wish he would just leave the room already.
I know this may sound as if I am some ungrateful child but if you were in the same room, you'll get this stupid rushing hatred feelings running through your veins.
What can I say?
When a girl is piss...there not much one can do about it.
And it's about being honest, isn't it?
Anyways, I have been updating this blog quite frequently lately I have been neglecting my YouTube account. I could never get things to be balanced.
My life is a jumble of mess and I miss my friends and....life is just at the worst for me.
I really hope this is not the beginning of my life.
I can just imagine the chapter of the past of my life ending..
And shilla thinks this was the ending of her life when she left the school ground and walk out the gate but she has no idea that it was just the beginning...
God. I really hope I am not a fictional character that was doom for failure.
Or was written by Stephen King.
His novel always had the protagonist being miserable.
Like in Misery. That would be bad.
I just wish I get a reply soon from NAFA...I just can't not go to school anymore. It's killing me.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
A denial PROBLEM
I have been wondering...since there is not much I can do besides wondering.. why people keep DENYING when they are in love with their best friends. I, personally, don't think it's embarassing to actually feel this way. So it might be a tricky situation but when you keep telling me about how much you don't feel that way about your supposedly best friend, it just makes it more obvious.
Have anyone read the book "He's just not that into you"?
Well, I have.
So I can TELL the sign when someone is into someone.
I am not asking people to tell the dude you're in love with him. I know the situation. Heck, I have been in the situation and telling that friend that you love him more than you're suppose to could actually cause damages. But please for crying out loud, DON'T DENY IT.
I am not him. I am a friend and I will understand. We might even have a few laughs about it. I might even agree that he's HOT.
Or something like that.
Anyway, I took the entrance test today.
It was HORRIBLE as some of my closest friends have already known. The drawing part was fine and then I realize I didn't even finish my paper. Ass.
And the stupid invigilator keep saying
"Read the questions carefully and over and over, people. Understand the question. Nobody is suppose to talk to anyone or ask what the question is meant. If you understand, then it's good. If you don't, then too bad."
What a way to make me panic. EVEN MORE.
After I finished my poster, I knew I lost it.
But, I wish I make it. I know I have some creative juices, it's just wasn't it full form today.
Wow, talk about a DENIAL PROBLEM.
I will get the result in 3 to 4 weeks and I am praying hard I will get in. I am hoping they see some talent in me because I really do want to learn to do videos and stuff and it would be quite fun making videos as a job.
If I don't get in, I might retake my O's again.
Wow, what a life I am having.
Hearts4Ever guys,
Shilla.
Have anyone read the book "He's just not that into you"?
Well, I have.
So I can TELL the sign when someone is into someone.
I am not asking people to tell the dude you're in love with him. I know the situation. Heck, I have been in the situation and telling that friend that you love him more than you're suppose to could actually cause damages. But please for crying out loud, DON'T DENY IT.
I am not him. I am a friend and I will understand. We might even have a few laughs about it. I might even agree that he's HOT.
Or something like that.
Anyway, I took the entrance test today.
It was HORRIBLE as some of my closest friends have already known. The drawing part was fine and then I realize I didn't even finish my paper. Ass.
And the stupid invigilator keep saying
"Read the questions carefully and over and over, people. Understand the question. Nobody is suppose to talk to anyone or ask what the question is meant. If you understand, then it's good. If you don't, then too bad."
What a way to make me panic. EVEN MORE.
After I finished my poster, I knew I lost it.
But, I wish I make it. I know I have some creative juices, it's just wasn't it full form today.
Wow, talk about a DENIAL PROBLEM.
I will get the result in 3 to 4 weeks and I am praying hard I will get in. I am hoping they see some talent in me because I really do want to learn to do videos and stuff and it would be quite fun making videos as a job.
If I don't get in, I might retake my O's again.
Wow, what a life I am having.
Hearts4Ever guys,
Shilla.
Friday, March 27, 2009
TO ALL MY FRIENDS
I hold the pain in my mind as I went away
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end this way
People are people and sometimes we have bad times
but it's killing me to see this end after all this time
The music starts playing like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending I don't really plan to see
Cause it's tragedy and it will only bring me down
Now I don't know what to do without you around
And I know it's never simple, never easy
Even this clean break, I am going crazy
I am the only one I know dying right here
And I can't breath without you
But I have to.
And I can't breath without you
But I have to.
I never wanted this, never wanted to be hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swereved
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing that I say will save me from the fallout
It's 2am, feeling like I lost all my friends.
It's really not easy, easy for me.
I miss all of you.
My heart is beating all of your names.
I am dying.
The pain is unbearable.
I love you all.
Miss you.
Always.
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end this way
People are people and sometimes we have bad times
but it's killing me to see this end after all this time
The music starts playing like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending I don't really plan to see
Cause it's tragedy and it will only bring me down
Now I don't know what to do without you around
And I know it's never simple, never easy
Even this clean break, I am going crazy
I am the only one I know dying right here
And I can't breath without you
But I have to.
And I can't breath without you
But I have to.
I never wanted this, never wanted to be hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swereved
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing that I say will save me from the fallout
It's 2am, feeling like I lost all my friends.
It's really not easy, easy for me.
I miss all of you.
My heart is beating all of your names.
I am dying.
The pain is unbearable.
I love you all.
Miss you.
Always.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Again...I have neglected.
Hey....Y'all! I see that I have not been blogging for a long time. It's about a month and the irony is, I keep asking people to update their blogs while I'm neglecting mine so diligently like a soldier. I am really sorry to those who have been to my blog to see some updates and getting none. I will somehow try to update it now since the ONE WEEK MARCH HOLIDAYS are in and I have more time in my hand.
So, let me just tell you that Common Test was such a bummer. I had only one H2 in the end.....
DAMN! THERE'S THIS REALLY IRRITATING KID SINGING " I BELIEVE I CAN FLY" ON TV...IT'S REALLY DISTRACTING AND I CAN'T THINK CLEARLY. HOLD UP...LET ME TURN OF THE SOUND.
Ha! I did not just turn off the sound....I turned off the whole thing. So let's get back to topic, shall we? I was really hoping I could pass MOB but I didn't in the end and I was hoping my assignment would pull me up but NO, there is not assignment marks included. I don't see the point of doing all those assignment with alot of effort, hoping it could be helpful when it's totally not. I was angry.
Then I got acceptive.
It's a miracle, I know. Especially from someone like me who believes that miracle don't happen to one self hence the bad luckness of my life. But I do accept this fate and I am not going to fight it anymore. If I am fated to be a blue collared worker then that's what I will be. I am too tired o fight against fate and obviously, fate always and will have the upper hand forever.
Anyway, let's not dwell on it further. Honestly, the reason I have not blog is because I have been making videos for my VLOG on YouTube. It's so much fun making a video, I love the editting process....hey, maybe I can be a video editor...let me check the requirements....who knows, maybe O level is eough and I have some good videos in YouTube.
Darn.
I need a degree to get a decent job.
Or a job that is fun.
A change of topic....I have been reading....Great books, good books, and really just plain boring books---which probably are all my literature books, ugh!
I just would like to say that NOBODY under any circumstances should ever read Nicholas Sparks' A bend in the road! It's total rubbish and draggy, predictable and just gives you the urge to just burn the books into ashes.
Hmm...maybe people who needs fire can bring that book along. You can burn it to give you fire. And help you survive. But, other than that, I forbid anyone to read that book.
That's about it....I am going to do a video soon. It's about FAT people again and THOSE who make fun of them. Yeah, I had a really awful day at PE. I can't say it....I want to show it and show how even friends can be mean to you. Laughing AT you. TO YOUR FACE.
Anyway....
God bless,
Shilla
So, let me just tell you that Common Test was such a bummer. I had only one H2 in the end.....
DAMN! THERE'S THIS REALLY IRRITATING KID SINGING " I BELIEVE I CAN FLY" ON TV...IT'S REALLY DISTRACTING AND I CAN'T THINK CLEARLY. HOLD UP...LET ME TURN OF THE SOUND.
Ha! I did not just turn off the sound....I turned off the whole thing. So let's get back to topic, shall we? I was really hoping I could pass MOB but I didn't in the end and I was hoping my assignment would pull me up but NO, there is not assignment marks included. I don't see the point of doing all those assignment with alot of effort, hoping it could be helpful when it's totally not. I was angry.
Then I got acceptive.
It's a miracle, I know. Especially from someone like me who believes that miracle don't happen to one self hence the bad luckness of my life. But I do accept this fate and I am not going to fight it anymore. If I am fated to be a blue collared worker then that's what I will be. I am too tired o fight against fate and obviously, fate always and will have the upper hand forever.
Anyway, let's not dwell on it further. Honestly, the reason I have not blog is because I have been making videos for my VLOG on YouTube. It's so much fun making a video, I love the editting process....hey, maybe I can be a video editor...let me check the requirements....who knows, maybe O level is eough and I have some good videos in YouTube.
Darn.
I need a degree to get a decent job.
Or a job that is fun.
A change of topic....I have been reading....Great books, good books, and really just plain boring books---which probably are all my literature books, ugh!
I just would like to say that NOBODY under any circumstances should ever read Nicholas Sparks' A bend in the road! It's total rubbish and draggy, predictable and just gives you the urge to just burn the books into ashes.
Hmm...maybe people who needs fire can bring that book along. You can burn it to give you fire. And help you survive. But, other than that, I forbid anyone to read that book.
That's about it....I am going to do a video soon. It's about FAT people again and THOSE who make fun of them. Yeah, I had a really awful day at PE. I can't say it....I want to show it and show how even friends can be mean to you. Laughing AT you. TO YOUR FACE.
Anyway....
God bless,
Shilla
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)