Mood: Exremely sad......

It's funny people keep coming to me for advice when I am in a wreck myself. I amazed myself when I hear myself givng these advice to other people, I feel like everytime I do that, I have an outer body exprience. It's like I am seeing this girl who is mature and wise talking and it's not me. I hear the advice I give and yet I, myself, could never apply it in real life. Like for example, love the way I am....I do....But in the end I get bruised. I don't feel appreaciated. Nobody seem to even care that I cried just not. My sis was so rude to me....and amazingly I did not retort. I just told her that she spoilt my mood...and she didn't even apologized. She just went out of the room...I could not hold back the tears of dissappointment. I guess, there will be more tomorrow after I get back my papers. I feel so bumped....so hurt...so underappreaciated...so lonely...so lost.... I wished somebody would just listen and understand and let me cry on their shoulders.....but here I am....Keeping to myself.. I hate my life right now.


I DON'T DESERVE THIS.

Will somebody hear me out?
I feel like screaming and crying
But my voice is not coming out
Please help me, I cannot find it.

Why am I alone again?
Why is it so hard for me?
Why am I the one feeling this pain?
I don't deserve this.

Alone seem to be my middle name.
It feels like I am in a never-ending game.
Everybody looks at me the same.
So useless and pointless.

Sometimes I feel I hate this girl.
The one I see in the mirror.
Yet, she's begging me to love her.
I cannot put her through more hurt.

I don't deserve this.
Would somebody understand, please?