Not for you.
But for me.
I realize when I pen ( or Type) my thoughts down for the day and when I read it in the future...I can see how much I change. So when people tell me I am so different from when I was then, I would believe them.
I just want to pen a thought that I love to waste my time on love. Really. It's so pointless but apparently my heart have no way to see it.
Am I getting too emotional? Shall I explain the situation first? Alright, I will.
Situation:
Guy: Prof. X
The first time I saw Prof. X, I was attracted already. It suck cause I brand myself as someone who doesn't fall for just looks... but, apparently, this time I did. Firstly he looks like this guy.
Of course.... Not as handsome, but somehow he have something similar. So with me and my big mouth...I went to tell him.
"Hey, I just have to let you know that you look like one of the KPOP star I know."
The moment I said this. I cringe at my stupidity. Seriously, I think desperation is making me stupid...knocking off my IQ to a single digit.
Prof X looked at me and laughed.
"Ya, I know! Because of my small eyes, right? Thanks lah."
Now, he's funny too... I liked him even more...I am so... easy.
So, now I like him alot and the more I know about him the more.. I just...fall. He's funny, adorable and just... a nice guy (Although, his fashion may need some help... he wore shorts... with slippers...)But of course, how can life be fair, huh? It never was for me...
Instead of the guy just not being interested in me... life decided to make me fall for someone who would not even give me the time of the day but make me like a guy who is so obviously chasing another girl.
Who, apparently, have a boyfriend.
So it's like playing catching, although none of them know we are actually just running in circles.
Me chasing after him. Him chasing after her. and she... just not realizing this and just be a friend to him.
I just wish he turn back somehow...and this false hope that I never fail to have...it's killing me.
I can just not chase Prof. X, right? I totally can and I should. I mean, where the hell have I place my pride and dignity. I should just stop and I tried.
I swear I tried... but yesterday, the me with the no brain, went out to buy things to do my nails and all the while when I was doing my nails.... I was thinking, would Prof. X think it's nice when I show him later at work...
WTF.
Why am I like this? Fall so many times. Got rejected so many times. Got hurt so many times. But I am still the same.
Great, huh?
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