Chapter 1
The summer was ending soon and yet Carla's love story was not yet complete. It felt like her world had tumbled into a big giant hole. If only she knew that Jordan was a sleazebag, she would not have dated him, period. She could not believe that Jordan hit on her best friend but she did not want to believe that her friend would lie to her. They’ve known each other for so long and their friendship would not permit one lying to each other. Carla could feel tears running down her cheek. Jordan has been the most amazing thing that had happened in her life. It was difficult to think that it had already ended. The thought taunted her like an imaginary stalker, only this time it’s not scary, it hurts.
Carla wiped her never ending falling tears; she had made up her mind. School is going to start in less than 48 hours. She has to get ready her things. She had not even bought the new book needed in secondary school. She was in the finalyear and would be taking her GCSEs, she must stop this burning feeling from making her achieve the result she had been aiming all her life. Straight As.
The door was knocked three times. Her mother, a beautiful woman to Carla, pop her head in.
“Honey, you agent is on the phone. She said it’s urgent.” Said Mrs. Garner. Carla scratched her head, wondering. Why would her agent call her? She could not have possibly gotten a role for the open audition she went to. She was not that great of an actress. She had an audition only for one open casting for the summer. A production by Warner Brothers. A movie that was supposedly to be called ‘Behind The Scenes’. Carla wanted a smaller role. The role of the cleaner because the script were so much easier but Jenny, her agent, said she had talent and to go for the lead role. It felt awkward remembering all the beautiful girls lining up, crowding around the small waiting room. Waiting for their name to be called but after that awful breakup with Jordan, the whole acting career possibilities were deleted from her mind.
“Hello, Jen. What’s up?” Carla asked while flopping down on her bed. She was just not interested anymore.
“Well, I don’t know how to say this but I will anyway. Carla, you’ve got the role!” Jenny exclaimed. Carla sat up so fast that her stomach turned into a knot and it was getting tighter and tighter as the news started to sink in. Then a thought occurred so fast in her mind that she spat it out without knowing that she did
“Wait, does this mean I’m not going back to school?”
“Well, yeah but you know the rule here in UK. They will get you a private tutor because you’re still underage and GCSEs is compulsory. Why? Is anything the matter?” Jenny asked, concerned. Carla said no and hung up the phone. She was looking forward to going back to school. To the comforting arm and words of her friends for her mending heart. Now all she can look forward to is nothing but acting as somebody else.

The next day, Jenny was in Carla’s house. The production of the movie was to start immediately. Mrs. Garner was so proud of her daughter as she knew her daughter’s dream was coming true and so she did not understand why Carla looked as if her deadline had arrived. She made a questioning look to her daughter.
“I just feel like I wish I could go back to school. You know, after the Jordan-crisis. I mean it’s not like you did not help. I just wish to have someone to agree with me. To bitch about Jordan.” Carla sighs. Her mom had widened her already big eyes when she said the B word but she could not help feeling so depressed. She is going to be away for about 9 months from the people she loves. She drank her last drop of the chocolate coffee her mother made for her. She hugged her mom and tears started to flow down naturally.
“Write to me everyday, mom. I am going to miss you so much.” Carla said, her voice croaked as more tears flowed down. Her mom wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. It was comforting and they hugged one last time as Carla let go of her mom and walked out of the door and walked to Jenny’s car. Carla went in the car and Jenny reversed out of the drive way and onto the road. Carla waved until her mom was out of sight.
“You ready?” Jenny asked.
“No, but I will be later.”

Wow! What a day it has been for me. Finally, after so many ages, I turly had fun. For the past 2 days, yours truly, went to an even that was called "THE 3RD ASIAN SCHOOLS VOLLEY BALL TOURNEMENT" at Republic Polytehnic! At first i thought it was a GIRL tournement but since, yours truly is a luck stars, the heavens was on my side. IT WAS A BOYS TOURNEY!!!! Just imagine my excitement. But, of course, it was not all fun and game, we had to complete the real task. The actual reason why we were even there. To mop the floors. Haiz. So when we were first came, we were brief by the teacher in charge. So he gave us a new term. We weren't moppers people, we were floor handelers. No difference, really. Weather we liked it or not, we were still cleaning the floors. But all was not lost, you could say we got the VVVVVIP seats. Hahaha, right in front.....upclose and personal.
So, the first match was....i forgot. But all i know is(Okay, I know this is pretty shallow, but I can't help it) there were alot of HANDSOME, CUTE, HOT guys around. I felt like I was given a treat! Now don't say that I am such a superficial person, I am just a girl appreciating God's great creation on men! Now there's nothing wrong with that. So here's the list of the countries that has hot guys in it.
Singapore- No. 6 and 12
Indonesia-No. 1
Vietnam- No. 14 and 9
Thailand- No. 4,3 ,7,and 12
Sri Lanka- No. 2
Okay, so that's all i guess....Most of the Hong Kong players were smoking hot but I could not have the memory to remember their jersey number. Too excited I guess. You should have watch the match between Thailand and China!!! It was so exciting, I did not even sat down through out the match. It was a fast match!!! And Thailand won!! I don't know why I was so excited. I am not even a Thai. Maybe because there were alot of 'eye-feasting' boys inside! Hahaha... okay I saw that look, I'll stop being such a bimbo.
I had alot of fun dancing to the songs they were playing during each intervals. The songs were replayed over and over and over.........
But I could not stop myself dancing to Justin Timberlake's songs. He's really such an impressive singer/songwriter.
Not to metion hot.
Okat, maybe without the facial hair, I suppose.
Anyway, we took some pictures with the Thailand players. Lucky as I have always been....No surprise here, I was standing beside the hottest guy in the group....NO. 4!!!!! hahaha....I'll post it here once Fiona send me the picture!!! HAHAHAHA! So that was it I guess. Pretty interesting. I love this type of days where I had innocent fun...okay maybe not so innocent since most of the time I was looking at the guys like some lost love puppy.....but it was great fun to spend around my best friends, Isabella and Christine, and made new friends along the way!
I am loving it!

So I am doing this on daily basis I see....Well, the more i do it the more I like letting my feekings known to the world. I find it very relaxing. So anyways, today was a very freaky day. Hafizah lend me her MOB book and I almost lost it (Don't worry Hafizah, the book is safe.) lucky I did not panic though I have to admit when the book was temporarily lost in McDonalads, my heart was thumping itself against my chest so hard, I was surprised that it did not leave a mark. Hahaha. Being lame as usual. So that was an exciting yet scary moment for today and the most annoying thing about this little adventure is that it had to happened when I was already on the way home and the time was so late. I reach home at about 9pm. I feel so tired. I wrote a song today in IRP lessson in school. I am going to show you guys after I write the entry of today. I think it;s a real cool song I've ever created. Most people whom I've confide the poem with said it was a cool song. I hope somebody can come out with the melody and tune for me so I could sing my OWN song. Gonna feel real cool if I finaly sing what I've written from the bottom of my heart. I guess it will sound more sincere if you wrote your own song.

I've beem reading this book for stress relief; 1003 great things about being a woman.
It's an amazing book though it's just simple sentences and quotes. I really love it. All the woman in the world should read it (don't woory, girls, I wasn't paid to advertise this), it's the kind of that put a smile on your face when you truely need it. I find it so funny cause today when i read that book OUT LOUD girls were nodding in agreement. I really felt GIRL POWER! It was so fun. I mean it's a harsh world for us, woman, no one can deny. So reading this book would make us feel sooooooo good. Cause we beating guys in so many ways that I did not even realize. OK enough of ego boosting...

(Verse#1)
Yeah...
I think about you
You know I do
But I have to fight it
This feeling for you

(Verse#2)
Oh..wooo...oh
I see you looking over here
It's a longing of so many years
This feeling's driving me insane
No, baby, don't make me stay

Chorus
Cheat on him(NO!)
I can never do that
Cheat on him(NO!)
I can't and I won't
Because......
I've pledge my heart and soul
To him

(Verse#3)
If only you'd came earlier
We might have this, dear
It doesn't matter anyway
Cause you can't make me stay

Chorus

Bridge
Me and him share kisses
Under the moonlight
Me and him Share misses
In the daylight
No, I can't cheat on him

(Chorus)x2

Hey People....sorry for the pic, such a soreeye. But anyway, I just wanted to put a picture of myself. This blog is full of other people and my thoughts...It needed some spice to it. And I am a SPICE! HAHAHA

So actually, I am here to confess something that has been bruising my heart and hurting my soul. I think I have develop an evil inside of me. I fell so dirty and so angry all the time. It's irate me to the core because I don't understand this feeling of hatered to so many people. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be a hater but I am hating people who are only being themselves. I feel so slefish and I feel like my soul is being killed as I hate more and more people. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I be the girl who is hated than the girl who is hating? Somebody please explain why I am being so angry and why am I always hurting people's feelings?

I think I need serious help. I hate myself so much for feeling this way but I don't want to lie to myself and fake. I don't want to lie to anyone and say I like them when I don't. But I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. What am I supposed to do? I feel so so so so so evil.....I need help.

Stop me!

I feel so dirty,

Let the rain fall please.

I wanna cry

Don't stop me

Why don't you stop me?

Stop me from lying

Through my teeth

Why don't you stop me?

Stop me from hating

you...

I feel unclean

My soul is broken

I wanna stop this

But I know that I can't

So won't you please stop me?

From tearing my soul apart

Please just stop me

From breaking your heart

Why can't I look at myself?

Maybe it's time for me

To get out of this skin

To put a fake one

And try not to be

me.......

The day went on as usual with the lazy morning wake up call. felt sooooo gorgy..Then went out of the house ALONE and went down to the busstop. Nothing really happened. It's a totally boring day except for that all my friends were super tired especially Christine....she claimed she only slept 2 hours the day before....pooor girl. The MANY TESTs are killing me soooo ever slowly.. I wonder why this is not first degree murder..ha ha ha ha
Anyway, I am in the bus..nothing to do so just blog. I am so sick of so many people in school and I hate soooo many people, I feel evil...Wow...in the bus and the guy beside me is an artist, I am looking at his work right now. It's really nice. Super HOTTTT. Oh ya, if you notice there's 2 video clips i put which is totally a non famouse person.....My sister chance over it and i think he is super hot!!!! I wanna marry HIM!!! That make him....err...number 157????Ha ha ha ha...Crazy. I dreamt i got married....hahahahaha....I loved that dream and i still want to marry....NOW! AH AH AHHAHAHAHAHA.......oh yeah thanks christine in saying I've got talent. You're the first to say that.......and to isabell too.....Love u guys to death. I think the friends curse is off me.....GREAT!

So the day went by, and it's been so long since I've updated this blog. Yesterday had so much fun when my buddies came to my CRIB! Had so much fun except that YJ was such a party spoiler. He hardly said anything at all.......which i think its cool, i mean it's a free country, isn't it? Okay. What was my point again? Never mind, I am just confusing myself.
So I woke up at 4a.m to clean the house for the guest...(hem hem) Then I went back to bed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha . My eyes could not hold. So woke at 9:30a.m and went to take a bath......so i smsed my buddies who were still at home when they're staying across the island......bad estimation so end up my friends came around at noon. So we didn't really start at the real work we're supposed to do...we really extremely slack. And christine brought her guitar and started singing and I started to feel so swayish...(is that even a word?)...cause her voice is an angelic voice!!!! I love x3 her voice! And i felt a little jealous, I must say...cause my voice is so 'nowhere' compared to her( No offence, christine. I still luv U loads!!) I bet all the three we gagaga over christine voice. At the very end of yesterday, we (that is to say me and Christine) sang a m2m minus 1 song. I can't remember what we sang....but it was fun. I want to perform for the teachers day thingy but I don't think I will go if Christine is not up for it. I think people would seriously throw tomato at me if I were to sing solo........
So today nothing really happened....I just got this poem playing in my head....sorry you guys...you can don't read it....ha ha ha ha..it's a free world.....ain't it?

The Title:
It's Not Easy

You're saying I'm the one
Again
You're pleading I should stay
Again
You're calling me at night
Again

You think it's easy
You think you smart
But don't you even realize
That I don't want you back
You think you cool
You think you hot
But don't you even realize
That I don't give a damn

Stop calling me your girl
I ain't even your homey
It's not easy to get back, boy
Don't you even think
I ain't coming back to you
Can;t you see, boy
Your love ain't never coming through.....

Hey peeps! So today was an ok day, until the unreasonable gave us a test at the spur of the moment....Was so pissed lah! I mean Ms. Unreasonable didn't even thought us the skill and yet it's for promos...so weird, right? Man, what am I doing, again? BITCHING....haiz.maybe I am such a....what's the word? Oh yeah, a freaking gossip spreader!
By the way, I am going to save from now on so I am sooooo hungry, going to die soon if I don't eat but what to do? I have to save for Harry Potter!!! Oh you don't get what I mean? Right let me explain....
So I lend my two precious souls to my friends (HALF BLOOD PRINCE & THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS) so I am souless....I decided it was time to buy the whole set of Harry Potter's Book series. I found one at Amazon.com. It was such a beautiful set. It's in a treasure chest (to all harry potter fan, I recommened you go and take a look at it!) It cost around $200, so I desperately need to save from now.....It will be out in september!!! I just have to have it, own it!

So yeah, I know some may think that I am such a weirdo, but I seriously think this is my passion you know. So please understand and not judge me, thanks eh....

So this is to my friend that asked me this question 2 days ago "Shilla, how you mend a broken heart" (I hope this will help)
OK, so I am not going to say the typical saying to you, all that just-let-it-go shit (sorry for the language peeps, but I am kinda pms-ing right now). So, honestly, there's really no 'real' way to mend a broken heart. It's always about how you deal with it. Babe, I know it's hard but let me tell you one thing, cause I don't really know your situation, it's his loss. Maybe yours too. So you both are suffering and as the saying goes "WITHOUT SUFFERING THERE WILL BE NO COMPASSION." I strongly recommend you to cry one last time. This time, cry as loud, as painful, as pityful and you like. Just let it all out. It's time to feel sorry for yourself. Serious, that's what I did. And it helps,crying. Then the next step, you got it right, to forgive that person. It really heal your heart the right way. And after reading your blog....you do know how you're a precious girl worth to be a treasure. (distracted by Nisa....Dunno what to write)
So don't worry.....the mending will happened, just deal with the pain for now....It's what makes us human, like Prof. Dumbledore said to harry in OOTP.
So did I helped? Must tell me via sms ok?

So...anything else to write? Let me ponder for a moment.....
OH YEAH....
I LOVE YOU HARRY POTTER!

Hey people.....as you can see i have made my blog a music video blog. There's a few music vid that I've put for your entertainment....So why you might asked that I am still awake so late in the morning? Well, cause I can't sleep, ha ha ha, I know lame reason, right? Anyway, tomorrow there is school. I do not feel like going though. It's going to be a freaking long day and I am so going to be tired as the reason is why I am still able to write in so late at night

Well, today or tonight, whichever you guys prefer, I am going to talk about accepting who you really are. So I am a fat girl, I would never deny it and I am not going to say that when I was younger that I felt I was not beautiful. That would be a lie. Almost everyday in my secondary school life, I felt like I was the most ugliest being on earth. I am ashamed of it, I must say but it is part of growing up, I guess. People keep telling me I had a beautiful personality. But it was never enough. Guys I've been crushing on reject me without even wanting to know me. I felt like I was cursed. I cried. Crying might have help me but it did not heal me properly.

Up until recently, when I look at myself in the miror, I see how beautiful I am. Eventhough I am fat, there's nothing wrong with that. I can lose the weight if I want to and I know I can. I will. But I still see that I am beautiful and I don't have to try so hard to get guys to like me or even may one day love me because I found the remedy for my broken soul....I need to love myself and tell myself everyday that I am beautiful and so I did. I never felt so happy in my life.

Of course, it would help if you have amazing friends around you. My friends have been nothin but supporting me. They, too, I believe, can see the beauty in me and I love them for making me feel great all the time.

To all the girls who are not happy with themselves no matter what the reason. Be it being fat or being thin. If you're not happy, take a look at yourself in the mirror. A long look. See the beauty in you and if you hear voices saying that you're not beautiful....SHUT THEM OUT. People who have problems with others have big insecurity about themselves. They're not happy with their own body and face that they taunt others to feel superior. Trust me, embrace your beauty and soul. You will feel so much better like you never felt before. I am living proof.

Hey peeeps.....I am having a bad tempered mood today and I just had a major fight with my friend....and he is pisssed with me. Not that I am not sad, but i couldn't take it any longer. I hope my message will get through his head anyway....It's hard and harsh but he has to come to reality. Anyway, I have done some of my homework, though I never finish it. Did I tell you I have finish my MALAY project? Yeah, finally done with it. It was not fun though I have to admit. The project was kind of rushed. Pretty pathetic, if you asked me.

Anyway, I have put two music video here. It's nice tho. I love 'break you' especially. Really really cool. So i have not much to say....so I just write a poem.

P.S To Y.J
sorry u became my victim of my pms.

It's not my fault
I have been your friend all this time
It's not my fault
I tried to tell you It's not fine

You keep telling me again
It's not your fault
We end up finishing
Our friendship

I hurt you and I am sorry
But if that is the only way
To make you see
Then I have nothing to say

How could you say
That I am insulting you
How could you say
Everything that was not true

Well, I don't think
We can mend anymore
This is it.

Hey, ppl! Check out my great blog! I LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Thanks to christine of course! ha ha! She took the time to help me do all this stuff, it's so great. I mean this is total me, you know. A Harry Potter FREAK. So what happened today? Alot of yawning and fustration! Firstly it was Management Of Business in the freaking morning and I was so bored out that i don't understand anything at all. Then Pansy (Hafizah) wrote me a letter. And we started our fantasy argument (the usual Harry Potter vs. Draco Malfoy). It's lame, but it was fun. I had great fun in the end. Then after that we went for....I totally forgot. Then Nisa and I discussed about malay project. Wow, I hope I did at least a decent job on the mother tongue and tomorrow, ONE PROJECT DOWN! Now, don't be too happy for me. There's like 5 more projects and they have ridiculous timeline. I am going bonkers in this school. It's draining my strength away and I am supposed to able to handle the stress right now...I am freaking 19.

Oh yeah, talking about age brings me to the date of my birthday; 23 September. Guess what? It's the day before promos examination! Such luck bestowed upon the PRINCESS POTTER. You know, I've been thinking that maybe, right, Joanne Katherine Rowling should tell more about what happened to Harry's career....I think he's the minister of magic...huhuhuhuhuhuhu!
He should be. ok....I am being ridiculous....SHOULD JUST STOP BEING A FREAK!

BUT I CAN'T!

To That Someone...Who seriously Have a Problem With ME being FAT

So hi.....Ok the title, I will explain later...too happy to think about that. Anyways, two days ago my life was complete. Wanna know why? Well, J.K Rowling last Harry Potter series has finally reach the ending. (people who are reading this blog right now and is reading Harry potter and the deathly hallows...please shut this down now...I don't want to spoil it for you)



The ending.....it was amazing and scary. Beautiful though, but there were alot of bump and bruises along the way. It is, i assure you, the most most most darkest book. I love every part of it. You will never get bored of it. HARRY WAS THE ONE WHO DIED AND WAS REVIVED AGAIN. FYI, not only two character who died. J.K Rowling might have wrote only 18 chapters when she said that to the press and the news about the last book because more than 2 people died....here's the list:
Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
The Minister of Ministry of Magic
Nymphadora Tonks Lupin
Teddy Tonks
Remus Lupin
Fred Weasley (OMG!!!!!!!!)
Colin creevey
Hedwig (Yup, be shock....she did not even spare that poor owl's life)
Dobby The Free House Elf
The heroes who died while battling the DEATH EATERS from Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and most definitely GRYFFINDOR.
The teacher who thought MUGGLES STUDIES in Hogwarts wittchcraft and wizardry
Grindewald (The DARK wizard that Dumbledore faught.)
Crabbe (Draco's Malfoy pathetic sidekick....he kinda killed himself actually....casting a cursed fire around and got fried in the end. HOW STUPID WAS THAT? But I don't think anybody really cares about him. Anyway.)
Dirk and a few goblins.
The wand maker For Durmstrung Boys....I forgot his name.


For your great relieve.....
Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Seamus, Neville and Dean did not die. More to the interesting part........Hermione and Ron got married and had children and Harry and Ginny too. It was a great ending. A happy one. A deserving series. I cannot imagine anyone who want Voldemort or more to say TOM RIDDLE...(I dare....) win and there was no ending. I think J.K Rowling would get killed and the sales would definitely drop. People would tell and people would be tooo appalled to read an ending that doesn't has one. I think KIDS who stayed all night just to read more that 5000 pages in total would be devastated. And, come on guys, it was a children books in the beginning until we, the adults, started craving for a fairytale. So, I think everyone should be sastified.

To J.K Rowling,
You are the most amazing writer I have ever come across. I cannot thank you more how the HARRY POTTER SERIES has change my life and views of life. How friendship and courage and definitely LOVE proves to be the greater powers of all powers. I was not your fan when you first published the books. I did not even took notice and I am most definitely ashamed of it. I only got to know about the HARRY POTTER SERIES until my friend put that stuff right beneath my nose and made me read it. I can't thank that friend more cause if he had not done that, I would not have knew this amazing skills of yours to pull me through the rough time I had. J.K Rowling your beloved skills and books would be missed. It's sad to know that no more book after this would come out but if you are reading this (which is at great odds) i want to thank you again. YOU CREATED A LEGEND.

To That person On the TITLE.

Just because you're perfect,
Does not give you the right,
To insult me behind my back.

Just because you're beautiful,
Does not give you the right,
To laugh at my beautiful flaws.

Just because you're not fat,
Does not give you the right,
To make me uncomfortable

Just because guys are chasing after you,
Does not, in anyway, give you the right,
To look so smug and arrogant.

Please look at yourself in the mirror,
I know it's horrible when you do,
You're scared if i speak,
I am definitely much more beautiful,
THAN YOU.

To my friends....you know who I am talking about....he he he.

Yesterday.............A day to never forget!

Yesteday, the day that I saw Ian McKellen......The guy who act in X-men and LOTR. It was a play called King Lear. I basically understand the first few part but after awhile.....I totally lost track of time. It was a surreal blur. But i do get some part. And when shakespeare decided to have a tragic play....he really mean it. All the character died in the end....except for Edgar and a few servant. I think Kent went to kill himself. I am not sure, I have to read the play to understand.
So then the play ended at 11:45...Almost all transport were gone. But there were some bus home left....I could take it. But for Isabella, it was kinda problem. But, i didn't wait to see what happened....I am such a bad friend. Haiz. I apologized for thinking about myself.........to Isabella. So, all in all....the only good thing that happened is that i saw a super star...even that was so far up and i could not even see his face.....hmm...maybe it's not a good thing after all!

hey I am back with my story

sO....I took one day to actually re-think the story....So anyway, this dude(if u haven't read the story below, u should be ashame of yourself!) name was Jeff, and amazingly, he was a muslim, which i don't know why is so surprising to me. Maybe i am too much a bimbo! ha ha ha....so i guess all the four of us look like nice people so he decided to chat with us, which was cool cause we learnt so much from him...like firstly he was a paramedic so he gave us suggestion tips on what to do if we have problem with our body. i have no problem except the fact that my body extra fat and i know the solution to it so i did not ask him anything at all. So like the saying always goes, TIME FLIES WHEN YOU'RE HAVING FUN. next thing i knew we were talking and it was already 8:45 pm. so the girls started to pack and we went to the toilet leaving YJ with Jeff. so when we were out of the toilet...christine look at the arrival tv and saw a flight from korea...being a DBSK obsessed fan, she seriously thought of them(i read her blog) and so we waited......and waited......and waited.....no DBSK. ha ha ha...and we went back home....leaving Jeff...even though we look like university student, all of us didn't thought of a way to keep in contact with Jeff...not even asking for E-MAIL! How smart was that? So that's about the event that happened on saturday.
So what happened TODAY?
Not much...YJ didn't came cause his wisdom tooth "conveniently" needed attention and so...he plucked out the wisdom tooth and do not need to come to school for a WHOLE WEEK! So it is just the gals and me. Then, we had our lesson in school and we didn't do any project for 2 days and tomorrow there's this stupid movie that we're all supposed to go at esplanade. What a waste of time, seriously. And on SATURDAY, THE BOOK HARRY POTTER WILL BE RELEASED AND I AM GOING TO HAVE IT! I wonder what's going to happened. I really hope Harry won't die. Please just make it a HAPPY ENDING. It's just the right thing to do, J.K Rowling....It's a 7 series book for heaven sake.
You know i asked alot of people if they're excited for the MOST anticipated book....not many of them cared!
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES SOOOOO MUCH OF WHAT WILL HAPPPENED TO HARRY POTTER IN THIS FREAKIN SCHOOL?

I Think I just DELETED everything...haiz.

Hey there Peeps! It's been a short day today and I am home so early. So i thought to change my blogskin...It seems like a smart move...but seriously, it was not. I think I've lost everything I ever wrote in this blog...well now i guess i have to start anew, haven't I? So let's start by the story last saturday. It was the day where my literature group wanted to discuss about the project. So yours truely decided to meet at dhoby ghaut station. But it was all a distorted process, cause christine"don't worry, by september, I will have my phone" was impossible to get contact. I met YJ first, as usual....sloppy as always and so we waited. So, if anyone know YJ and I, they should know that we cannot stand the sight of each other and so, being the girl that has nothing better to do, started to shoot YJ with all my nonsense and believed it or not guys, YJ actually entertained by defending himself....which is, of course, pathetic. So in the midst of me winning my argument with YJ, my phone rang and christine voice cam through. I could hear she was abit pissed having waited about 1/2 hour. Then the three of us waited for Isabella. She came an hour later....but she told us before hand so it was cool....anyway, my brilliant idea backfired again by me making a decision to study at P.S! Being a weekend, i was to blind to see the signs that people would want to go shopping! Amazingly stupid...i felt like a total BIMBO. Anyway, we went to the airport instead. So we wasted alot of time...seriously. So Christine suggest we go another terminal, cause the terminal we were in were awfully crowded...but that decision was a dreadful mistake. Why? Well, this terminal was just as crowded and even more noisier...but we settled anyway...our project was literally shouting at us.
So then we're doing our stupid project, hate it, hate it, hate it. Then, suddenly, some guy asked us if he thought the speech he made were good for his students. when he was talking, I FELT LIKE I WAS IN BIMBO WORLD. I understood nothing. So christine asked if he ws teaching a University students and he answered yes.
"I think they will understan...cause we're not university student." Christine said.
"Oh, Ok" said the small dude. You know what that means? The four of us look like UNIVERSITY STUDENT!
And yet, here i am struggling with my school.....write in later to finish this story....
It's a long one.

Omg!!! Today was an amazing day...well everything did not realy turn out rite but we (Isabella, Christine, Y.J and me) had so much fun! Well, we did get something out for the lit project. We got what each character was supposed to be and then we found a new friend. Jeff. He's nice u guess....we talk alot. Mostly it was guys vs girls...and as we all know, Y.J always losing in the end..thanks to mui....hahaha. Ok, i think i sound evil. But nevermind. well, all of us talk about different topic. Like marriage. Wow, I hope to get married. i hope someone does wanna marry me. Marriage would be a nice step to take with someone u truely love. someone u wana give ur soul to. Haiz.....what a beautiful life would that be? Amazing i guess.

But anyway, let's talk about another topic. Harry potter!!!! I went to watch the movie on the public premier. I am not trying to be biased here but i really feel strongly that it is the best movie ever produce by any other director for Harry Potter movie series. It's not a children flick anymore. It's dark and intense. I have to admit they change quite a few stuff....but the point of the story was still there and it's seriously difficult to put more that 700 pages into a 2 and half hour movie. You've got to give David Yates the credit! So if anyone wanted to watch Harry Potter...do it fast! you won't be dissappointed! Trust me!

Omg...I think yesterday entry was so overrated. I really didn't know what i was feeling...but i definitely was feeling down. That's why death was on my mind. I just reviewed one of my classmate's Blog. It was so sad...and here I thought that My family is the only one having problem. The only one in the world that is feeling that DOOOM DAAAY is going to happen the next minute. I never thought i was so wrong.....I just read Max(MY CLASSMATE) Blog.....and I was taken by surprise...Max, is a smiley guy...i would never thought he had a lot of problems...but he does. I won't say what his problem is cause it's his privacy...so if u want to know u have to be friend of his....cause i am. Anyway that's not my point of writting this blog....After reading Max's blog, I finally see that other people DO have problem and yet they're still smiling. I think from now, I am going to look at life in a different light. The positive side. It's hard, I know but I am still going to try. Compared to the problem Max is having......Mine is nowhere close to him. Now I feel like being SUPERWOMAN or a GENIE. Give everyone in the world 3 wishes....this is actually making me smile....i can't believe this....

I am so lost. I feel like crying all the time. Life is not doing good for me. I am, for sure, going to brak down soon. I don't "fit in" in class. I wis things were better for me....I can't like anyone because there's a voice inside my head that keeps repeating I ain't good enough for him. Heck, ain't good enough for anyone....
I feel so depressed in clazz...if it wasn't for Isabella....I would be a goner...for sure. Thank God. Bless her soul for me, Allah SWT.
So I have been thinking that I might commit suicide soon....but that's just my thoughts.....good day everyone.

hello...wow! It's been ages since i wrote in here...Election's over!!! It was interesting wasn't it!!!! I was holding my breath when the annoucement for Aljunied GRC....Man, it was a close fight between PAP and WP. But i won't say further.... I am only 18....What do I know? But, i am glad with the result, personally...Anyway, it was realy interesting! I, for a first time, actually like the campaign. I followed news.....AND I NEVER WATCH THE NEWS. Well anyway, it was all for a good cause, right? So guess how my life is going on...well, it is ok. Nothing happened. Very boring. Exa is going to be over tomorrow.....i am quite confident i am going to get A2 for mathematics.....I am sure of that Literature is going to be doomed...it's going to be a C5 or more. Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the first time..Exams are not tough but extremely boring! I seriously hate my class...I hate NADIA!!!! gosh, just because she got a firece eyebrow means i am scared of her???? Get a grip ok? I wish i could just....i better not say, if not what i said can be use againts me in the court of law!!!!! well, anyway i feel sick, because i should be in POLYTECHNIC. so so so so so so so sick. I need a break.
So, i feel like i should just take off school and just startmy career!!!!i wanna be a host, of a tv presenter or anything in the entertainment media. i wanna work for lime!!! i wanna be an entertainment journalist. I can go and interview all my stars! Especially Justin Timberlake... I'll go Bonkers!! i will dream as follows.
I go to the interview room. There he is Justin. SO HOTTTTTT!!!!!!
Me: Hello. I am shilla, from lemon magazine. How's your day.
Justin: You are so beautiful.
Me: Ha ha ha! I am not sure of that. So, what is it like to be a sex symbol?
Justin: Am i? I didn't know...You are really beautiful
Me (blush like crazy): Yeah, so what would you say about your new album, Not justified?
Justin: Hmm, it's partially rap and ballad. Not alot of people do that. I don't know what's happening but i think you are really beautiful
Juatin takes me in his arms....and we flew to the garden of love......
HA!!!! LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPENED TO ME!!! I THINK I AM SERIOUSLY GOING CRAZY!!!SOMEBADY SAVE ME FROM THIS MADNESS! I AM GOING TO BONKERS. OH NO....I HAVING A headache....panadol please.....

Don't Kiss And TeLL...It is So not cool

I cannot believe BOYS! hah! I mean seriously who do they think they are? Why do they even kiss and tell? I bet they think it's totally awesome when in fact it make the look stupid. Okay, Boys if u wanna kiss and tell, do it. But not in BLOGS!!! God, telling your friends is one thing....but telling the whole world? Now that's beyond foolish. REAL MAN don't do this. They definitely don't go around saying, "I slept with her. And her. And her." Haiz...what is happening to this world? Maybe because Kiamat is near. And BOYS please...we do not need details about your sex life. I mean puuuurrrrllllleeeeaaaasssseeee.....IT IS DISGUSTING! ARGH! So all the boys and pervs oout there... i think all of you need a life.

I miss you....SO much...but you never ever...hear me...why? Do you really hate me? What have i done? Why are you hurting me so much, especially when you r doing nothing about us?? I STILL LOVE YOU. I do A'sri......I need you to calm me down...to hear my tears...to laugh with me....i need you in my life....i cannot let you go. I don't know why? Am i being punished for just loving you?